No-strings-attached, bed buddies, nutty buddy, Michael Jackie, pener pal, quantum dating, Whenever we hear these terms, a bell rings in our minds and we can assume the road ahead is a bumpy one.
Ask Emma-Adam from ‘No-Strings-Attached’ or Jamie-Dylan from ‘Friends With Benefits’, they’d tell you how most of the scenarios end. All you need is a 20-step rule book for you and your quantum friend.
Clarity Is Important
Once you are sure you want to go down the benefits road, you should know what all you are expecting from the next person. You should be honest with your partner in crime and make everything clear from the beginning. There is no point of making the system complicated by not saying things you have in your mind.
Being on the same page is crucial for this arrangement. If there is something out of order in this situation, you may expect a thunderbolt attack in the future. Avoid every kind of turbulence by making clarity and honesty essential part of this setup.
Stop Being Regular
FWB is a case of benefits and not exclusivity. Hence, meeting your shagging partner five times a week is not a good idea. Regularity increases familiarity which is not required in this scenario. The more regular you guys meet, the more habitual it gets.
Two people get in this situation just to have some fun and satisfy their bodily needs. You don’t need a habit of a person to screw that excitement. So, make sure you meet them just when the volcano is ready to erupt and you are willing to rip off each other’s clothes.
Emotional Neutrality
This game you are playing is not about emotions, my friend. You better keep them locked up and then start the bedding game. It’s a situation of ‘put in, take out, and move out’. Hence, you can’t really involve anything other than the parts that give you pleasure. Getting too comfortable ruins the whole meaning of ‘casualness’.
You are nothing more than ‘F’ buddies, so don’t even try to be anything more by putting in emotional effort in this equation. The physical effort will be of more beneficial for you.
Pillow Would Be A Better Cuddle Partner
Cuddling is off the bed. If you really want to cuddle, get your pillow and do whatever you feel like. However, this mate of yours is not the appropriate choice for spooning. The longer you stay in bed after sex, there is more urge to cuddle. And cuddling does nothing but makes your bond deeper and stronger, which is something you wouldn’t want.
The worst part about this is that cuddling is even more relaxing than the whole ‘penetration’ act. It makes us feel so good and we can’t have it with the one we are sleeping with. DUH! That’s our only reason to detest this equation.
Small Talk Is In
Trash talk is out. Don’t communicate at all unless it is about your next plan. Your conversations should be all about when, where, and nothing beyond that.
Your place or mine is the best thing to ask the “friend”. Don’t try to indulge in any conversation that involves your health, emotions, daily routine, etc. It is going to make you think about them more often and you know where that road leads to. We are here to go the L road, fortunately, or unfortunately, it’s not LOVE!
Lust has some power in it and you will lose it if communication increased.
Close Friends Are Off Limits
As we have said before, you need no communication and no emotions. That is not possible between close friends. You have emotions involved in the past. Hence, if you try this dirty play, you might end up losing that friend forever. On the basis of our experience, know that it is not worth losing a close friend.
Choose wisely! Everyone thinks it’s a one-step procedure to get a FWB. However, that’s not the case, you have to come across a person who is worth being a friend and then you have to keep a proposal of the benefits you can get out of it. You cannot just ask an old close friend to help you out with the benefits.
Don’t Discuss Your Adventures
Once you are done with your little sweaty adventure, don’t discuss it. NEVER EVER! Discussing the past bed experiences can make you think about what all happened under the sheets. And it won’t be limited to the physical part. You will end up thinking about touch and eye contact.
You don’t need us to tell you what is going to happen once you start thinking about the things we just mentioned. Hence, stop right there and make a U-turn before you send a text where you want to discuss the previous experience.
Protection Is Must
We are sure when you go on such an adventure you don’t plan to make babies. Also, most people are not even fond of STDs, isn’t it? Hence, protection is a must. We know it’s all casual but that doesn’t mean you take your health any less seriously. If you are not monogamous, condoms are lifesavers.
Some gifts are better not given and by this, we mean by your babies and your diseases. Keep them to yourself. Also, if someone tries to give theirs to you, you can walk out of that room without hesitation.
It’s Not Going To Last
Like your not to so hard-core experience, this relationship is not going to last. Hence, don’t keep anything between you too that increases familiarity and makes this mating relationship anything more serious.
Ending it on a good note is the key. That is how you can get another friend to go down dirty with you. Experiences are meant to be fun and every relationship is meant to end, especially the quantum relationships. So, don’t try to stick to them for long. After they leave, the void is going to hurt.
Always Meet Horizontally
It’s all about the bedroom scenes. Don’t ever get out of there unless you want to experiment with the horizontal position. Doing regular couple stuff is not allowed. Going on dates, movies, hanging out just because you have no other friend to kill your time with, everything is off the table.
Once you have thrown everything off the table, you can use it for the purpose you guys got together for. Just don’t try to make a cocktail with everything. Too much of it is going to get you skunked.
Don’t Intrude
Their personal space is not for you to enter. Intruding in personal space is weird and makes you look like a clingy person. If that person were interested in sharing that personal space, they’d be in a relationship. Having a benefits relationship is not a lifetime goal of people.
Don’t leave a piece of clothing or a toothbrush at their place. It is never going to get a relationship tag unless it’s a movie. So, don’t even try to behave that way.
Keep It Short
The shorter the duration of benefits, the shorter is the period of mourning. Like your quickie sweaty sessions, it should be less messy, less painful, and less revealing. The only difference here is that we are talking about revelations of emotions. Keep it quick and short.
Sticking around to expect it to turn into something more serious is insane. Don’t expect butterflies or bells to ring in you after months of fornicating each other. It started off as a casual thing and that’s how it should end.
Don’t Mislead
When a person starts expecting “more” in ‘bffwb’ you should be honest and clear about your intentions so that the person with you doesn’t get hurt because of you. If after the clarification, the next person chooses to stick around you then you are not to be blamed for the hurt feelings.
Misleading the person who is already expecting is the wrong move. You are way better than this. If the person won’t stop bothering then ending things right there is the best way to get out or you may be the victim of clingy unrequired feelings.
When Confusion Hits, You Step Back
If you are the one expecting things, if you are the one who is confused about the feelings then you need to stop doing it right at the moment of realization. Some people are too late to realize anything, so, don’t be that dumb person who can’t realize their own feelings.
In this scenario, you are not just making your life tough, the person who is taking benefits for you starts to get weird about everything you do and they become unsure of what you are expecting out of them. Hence, make things easier for them and yourself by stepping back on your own.
Keep Looking For Connections
While you are busy going under the sheets with your “quantum friend”, you should know that there is a world outside the bedroom and you still need someone to depend on for the rest of your life. Keeping the doors open for love is the right way to go ahead in life while you take benefits from a friend.
That is how your friend should be. Also, you shouldn’t feel jealous when they meet someone outside your bedroom life. It’s their right to fall in love with someone and so do you.
Passion Over Compassion
It is more about the physicality rather than the emotionality. It should be more about ripping each other’s clothes apart rather than ripping each other’s hearts. Try to keep volcanoes of lust inside you when you are in the room together, avoid love in this equation. Passion and heat of your bodies should be more than the warmth of your feelings and emotions.
Once the dimensions are reversed, it is nothing but a relationship and we can know you guys have screwed the FWB equation successfully.
Don’t Introduce To Friends/Family
It is not for you to make it public. Everyone needs to have one dirty little secret and let this one be yours. Also, what would you say to introduce them to your friends and family?
“Meet Alexa, the person I am satiating my physical needs with.” Is that how you want to sound in front of your people? We are sure that’s not the right way to introduce anyone. So, why don’t you don’t do that? Simple, isn’t it?
Also, if you are expecting that to happen from the other side, you need to go through the definition and basis of your relationship once again.
No Sleepovers
Appreciated but unwanted! This is the exact definition of sleepovers in the equation called ‘fwf’. Once you have shown off your bendy-flexi you learned in your hot yoga class, it’s time for you to move your body outta that door you see.
You come, you rump and pump, and you get lost! Sounds great? Then why not accept it as a ritual every time you see each other? Oops! My bad! Every time you pork each other! We don’t mind if you sleep with them but don’t “SLEEP” with me.
Text but only F-texts
Talking over texts is important. You have to know their preferences so that you can actually plan your next adventure. However, the conversations should only be about the fantasies and the next move in bed.
It shouldn’t involve any kind of drama so don’t talk about your daily schedule on texts. Avoid it to save yourself from awkward replies. It’s good to have pleasure over texts but you should never talk anything over a text that becomes a treasure at a later stage.
Now that we are talking about texts, avoid nudes for your own safety. You never know which one of your nutty buddies turns out to be psycho.
It’s Okay If You Don’t Like It
Handling a FWB is tougher than handling a relationship. Hence, we understand if it doesn’t suit your taste. We don’t judge you for loving the concept or hating the same. People have different preferences and we get you.
Nobody is going to tag you as old school and nobody cares. Don’t be surprised if you are one of those who can’t stand the idea of benefits. Not all are open to such ideas. Some live for such strings and some can’t stand the idea of being under the sheets without any emotional intimacy.
