When you become a parent for the first time, it’s incredibly helpful to have fellow moms to talk to about all the new and sometimes stressful experiences you go through. And the advice you can get from mommy Facebook groups can be so useful and a great way to get support.
However, other times these FB groups can attract some of the most bonkers and out-of-the-box ideas—with the most hilarious responses. Let’s take a look at some of the wildest things ever posted in these mommy Facebook groups.
Baby Names
We really wonder who exactly would make such an important decision based off of feedback from a Facebook group, but the internet is certainly full of weird and wonderful ideas on all subjects.
Take this hilarious post for example. Would you really ever name your baby “Neon”? we suppose it’s a pretty original and memorable name, and maybe a bit futuristic, but just imagine the poor kid being called out in the playground.
Do It Yourself
There are plenty of new age and hippy-type parents these days who like to take as much ownership as possible of the various parenting tasks and rites of passage. And that’s great, but sometimes, there are just certain things that you should really leave to the professionals.
Take for example circumcision? That’s not exactly the kind of thing you can just have a stab at—excuse the pun.
Oil Be Damned
We are all for experimenting with alternative medicines and trying natural methods of healing, but sometimes you just have to be sensible.
But when you are dealing with a CHILD with CONCUSSION, this is hardly the time to be faffing around with some pleasant-smelling oils. Go to a doctor, for Pete’s sake! Fortunately, the other moms in this group put her straight and she went for proper medical attention.
College Funds
Oh dear oh dear. If there is one thing we can always strive to do for our children, it’s put some savings away to invest in their future.
Except for this one Facebook mom who revealed that she did amass some savings, but then spent it all on her own Monat business. Never say never, but we are not sure this is going to end so well.
Oil Aboard
The internet is truly a veritable treasure trove of oil-obsessed Facebook moms, but this post truly takes the cake. we mean, it’s one thing to be so dedicated to one’s own oil supplement usage, but to be this obsessed with forcing your teenage son to take them too?
Seriously, sneaking them into his foods…RUBBING your own oily self onto him? We just can’t. The world has truly gone mad.
Overshare
We are not quite sure why this post turned up in a parenting group, but ok. We are also not quite sure what actually is the point of the story—we can see they clearly feel strongly that they are duty-bound to share the tale, but not really what the story itself actually means.
Also, it’s pretty dubious to us that someone would have such a clear memory from that age. But you never know, we suppose.
Ex Factor
Oh yikes. We know that dating someone with kids from a prior relationship can always be tricky. Everyone has a past, of course, but it can be hard to separate worlds when you start dating someone new and there are children in the equation.
And of course, regular contact with an ex can lead to jealousy—but jealousy over a father telling his daughter she is beautiful? That’s just way beyond the pale.
Home Schooled
We always hear rumors about home schooling and mixed reviews about its effectiveness. On one hand, it’s great to have the independence and relaxed nature of a home school environment.
On the other hand, these parents don’t appear to have taught their children anything, and now seem almost surprised that their almost-teenagers can’t read. Goodness me—this doesn’t bode well for their futures.
Anti Vax
This one is so cringe we are not sure what to think. This mom has not only decided to prevent her children from being vaccinated, but she is also seemingly incredibly proud of the strong and public way she has indoctrinated them to be opposed to modern medicine.
We are sure that this post received quite a lot of controversial comments, and we would not be surprised at all to see some very angry responses.
Pox Party
We can’t help but wonder why on earth these moms choose to share such terrible things on social media.
So not only did you send your child to school when they literally test positive for a contagious fatal disease, but you excuse it because of your prior scheduled beauty appointments? We are done, unsubscribe from humanity, goodbye.
Facing the Truth
We can’t help but picture the family of bearded ladies sitting and writing this rather bizarre and overly personal Facebook post. Do these women really have the same five o clock shadow as the men? Really? And before they shaved their face the first time they did not?
We are not quite sure what to think about this, but the little interjection at the end about formula just pushed us over the edge. Just no.
Pee People
Oh no. Oh no you did not. Are these people actually for real? We’ve heard of self-medicating with natural products or trying to steer clear of anything too processed or store bought.
Naturally created substances is one thing, fine. But SMEARING your baby’s face with its own PEE to help strengthen their immune system? I mean, immunity is great, but not at the expense of lifetime trauma and much therapy. No thank you.
Sweeping Generalization
If there’s one thing the internet is really great at, it’s spreading random and often offensive or dangerous misinformation. Take this random Facebooker, who just casually drops a totally unfounded accusation that the entire country of New Zealand lives in poverty and squalor.
We can see why the other commenters wanted to wade in and correct them, but really, there’s no arguing with these people. Better just to stay out of it.
Best Laid Plans
What on earth is going on here? This person is claiming that all of their gifts have been stolen, which sort of sounds quite far-fetched in the first place.
But then they go on to ask for funds … for a bus pass … so that they in turn can go and STEAL all the gifts? Are they stealing them back from the thief? Or new ones from the store? The mind boggles, honestly.
Psychic Powers
We are not quite sure what the question is here. Could a newborn possibly sense if their mother is pregnant? We suppose it’s possible. But as we read further down into this strange post, it appears the mother seems to believe that she fell pregnant while still pregnant with this newborn.
We just don’t know what to do with this. That’s not, um. That’s not quite how it works.
Egg On Your Face
We are just speechless at this one, we really are. It’s great news honestly that your little one is no longer being bothered by teething pains. That’s wonderful for them.
But how can you actually think in any way that this has been achieved, by hanging an egg on their doorknob? I mean, what? And then being so pleased by the results that you decide to spread them around the house for everyone else? We are done.
Over The Top
This one is just ridiculously harsh. We really hope this request didn’t actually come from a parent, otherwise we would perhaps be worried about just how wild their idea of punishment really was.
We assume this is probably from a mean older sibling, perhaps, who wants to teach their little brother a lesson. It’s just so utterly creative in its cruelty, only an older sibling could stoop to this level.
Soy-tan’s Work
Oh my goodness. We do not even know where to begin with this one. We do love a classic complaint about the general state of morality today, which for some reason always tends to boil down to what women are wearing.
But to associate it with also the state of today’s world and the popularity of vegetarianism, just adds to the hilarity. Of course, the soy products are to blame for our moral decline. How could we not see it before?
No Hallow’s Eve
Well, this is certainly one way to deter those pesky trick-or-treaters. Or is it just a surefire way to ensure your whole house is thoroughly egged and toilet-papered?
Sure, trick-or-treaters can be a bit of a pain, turning up to your house and demanding snacks, with the threat of trashing property if you don’t deliver. But to suggest it is literally the devil’s work seems a little over the top, surely. Do you think they really think that?
Pizza Party
This one made us laugh. Is this really the first time this poster has seen their kids eat pizza? If so, why? Surely they should know that pizza is one of life’s greatest joys and that everyone, not just kids, acts full of energy and happiness after eating it
This one made us laugh. Is this really the first time this poster has seen their kids eat pizza? If so, why? Surely they should know that pizza is one of life’s greatest joys and that everyone, not just kids, acts full of energy and happiness after eating it
Pride and Prejudice
We really feel for the person sharing this post. Not only do they have to deal with their mom being homophobic and mean to them, but then they also take flack for being a stroppy teenager!
Newsflash: if you insult someone’s sexuality and life choices, and they get offended, that’s not them being oversensitive. That’s you being really not cool.
Age Against the Machine
Ah, and here we have the age-old debate. At what point do you stop describing your baby’s age in months, and switch over to years? Many people think it’s at the year point, whereas others go up until 18 months aka a year and a half.
But some parents take this even further, and continue describing age in months for many more years. We think there has to be a limit sometime.
Gender Wars
Yeuch! We were about to get annoyed with this poster, but actually when we think about it, we just feel sorry for them. After all, it wasn’t them being weird and sniffy about different toys for different genders. They just wanted to get their son a toy that they would enjoy!
But boo to everyone else who made this kind parent feel bad about their purchase. You do you, and ignore the haters.
No Thank You
For many people, the end of the school year is a great opportunity to show your appreciation for your child’s teacher. After all, they work hard all year and spend a lot of time making meaningful relationships with your children, forming them and helping get them ready for their future.
But this particular poster certainly doesn’t want to show any gratitude for their kids’ pedagogues. After all, they get paid for it! What a mean attitude.
What’s In a Name
Oh no. we totally understand why people dream of giving their little ones some super interesting or original names, but sometimes you have to remember to think about what the child wants or what is best for them, not you as a parent.
So while some of these names are undoubtedly cool ideas, we can’t help but feel bad for the kids who have to walk around introducing themselves with these names in the playground. So harsh.
School of Fish
This one is quite sweet actually. Sure, it’s a truly damning insight into how messy and chaotic life can get when living with two kids and a hoarder, but we sort of appreciate the way the mom has owned the situation.
After all, when you get into these sorts of states, becoming stressed or annoyed won’t really help anything. Sometimes all you can do is snap a photo of it and laugh about it with your FB pals.
Fake News
Sigh! Here we go again. What we find especially hilarious/depressing about this post is that the poster doesn’t actually want to find out the truth. They have simply already decided what they think, and are now asking for evidence to back up their already chosen opinion.
If you want evidence, but don’t have, why are you already so sure of what your position is? It truly doesn’t make sense. Oh, the humanity.
Back Off Baby
Here we have rather a strange request from a perhaps overly paranoid parent. They are asking how they can stop strangers from talking to or smiling at their baby. Now we understand when people are too forward or intruding your personal space, but a small smile at the direction of a cute baby surely can’t offend anyone.
Fortunately, a fellow Facebooker stepped in to tell this parent that they might be being rather unreasonable here.
Mom Magic
We love this one. Though there’s a bit of sexism here to assume that it’s always the moms doing the mixing and healing, to total consternation of the dads, it’s still pretty funny to see how one person’s natural homeopathy skills can seem like witchcraft to another.
We would quite like to try this magical mix for ourselves, too. Sounds like it would be truly delightful.
Certifiable
This one is so weird. Just exactly what is this poster trying to say? Are they anti birth certificates? Or pro them? Really, sometimes we think that people will go to any lengths to try and be opposed to something, even if there’s honestly totally no reason and they are the most inoffensive thing ever.
I mean, at least take umbrage with pollution, or too much traffic, or something. Don’t go for birth certificates—that’s just silly.
More Oil Based
This one would be funny, if it wasn’t actually quite a serious situation. First of all, don’t even get us started on people who post what could well be time-sensitive questions and issues around children’s health on a Facebook forum instead of going straight to a doctor.
And we don’t even know where to begin with this responder, who instead of advising her to consult a professional, starts waffling on about some supplements she recommends. Honestly, we don’t know what to think anymore.
Keeping Up Appearances
We have to salute this mom. She knows her own weaknesses, and shares with her friends that she simply couldn’t help herself when it came to her 3-year-old daughter’s snacks.
However, though she gave in and ate them, she couldn’t bring herself to admit it to her little one—so she maintained the charade as far as even helping her look for the missing candy. Absolutely hilarious.
Best Mom in a Motion Picture
This one is so cute. We know that becoming a parent means learning a lot of new and unexpected skills, and sometimes motherhood changes and challenges someone in really incredible ways.
But we bet you didn’t think that motherhood would also involve honing your skills as a talented actress—but this mom reveals that that’s exactly what she had to end up practicing when she needs to feign interest in her daughter’s stuffed toy collection. So sweet.
Just Do It!
When people find out they are expecting a baby for the first time, they always have incredibly high hopes and aspirations for the kind of parent they are going to be.
But when the reality comes around, instead of sterilizing everything and being a super inspiring and zen parent, you find yourself bargaining whether you really need to clean pee up or not. Oh, the humanity.
Bursting the Bubble
This one is kind of sad, but also just so funny. We all try to keep our children’s innocence for as long as possible, maintaining the dream of lovely ideas such as Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.
But that is of course more difficult when you have more than one child, because the older kids will be making it their mission to destroy the younger one and their sense of adventure at all times. Kids gotta learn somehow, I guess.
Dad Joke
We know that as soon as a man becomes a father, he instantly somehow gains a new sense of humor, involving the silliest and most groan-inducing jokes and puns. And so when we first read this dad joke, we thought it would be that sort of humor—but in fact this is even funnier.
Because it’s not actually a joke, just a long-suffering observation of what life with toddlers is truly like. Lol!
Say What You Feel
We are not quite sure what is going on in this picture here. We can see that this young boy has certainly got a lot of angry or upset-looking faces on this sheet, but did he choose one of them? Or are all of these faces a summary of his current emotions?
Or is it actually nothing to do with these faces, but the fact that he angrily ripped out a big chunk of the paper itself? We may never know.
Dietary Requirements
This mother posted on Facebook, "She just voluntarily ate a bug. But she still won't try pizza. The dose of reality"
We know that sometimes kids can be pretty fussy when it comes to food, and they can have random or niche desires for what they do or don’t want to eat.
But normally you would think that, whatever anyone’s preferences, all kids love a bit of pizza, right? Well, in this case, you’d be wrong—because this little girl prefers to eat live bug than a slice of the good stuff. There’s just no understanding some people honestly.
Sleepy Time
We had to read this one quite a few times, and we are still not quite sure what times the parent and kid are describing to each other here. However, it’s a neat way to get your child to tell the time super early in the morning without you even having to open your eyes.
The only problem is getting them to listen when you tell them to go back to bed.
They say that humor is one of the best remedies out there, and that a good ‘ol laugh might just fix you right up. And it’s safe to say that when these significant others decided to pull these hilarious and creative jokes and pranks on their partners and kids, it definitely spiced up their relationship.
