There is no guide for you to be a shitty partner but somehow people manage to pull that off really well. People manage to make their partners feel terrible about their existence and still live their life in bliss. If you can relate to any of this, we will assume you are trying to figure out the health of your relationship.
Cautious With Your Actions
Everything you say, everything you do, somehow all of it goes against you. The power of toxicity is such that you always end up with the fear of losing your partner. Also, they have no sense of time or place. You never know when they will blast with anger if you say something not so offensive.
Also, they behave this way when you least expect it. Such partners don’t care who is around them and who is listening to what. You can expect this kind of behavior in front of people you really like or who adore you. Someway or the other, this gives them satisfaction and we need to ask them how!
You Have To Stop Talking To People
When you are in a relationship with such people, you automatically have a list of people you have to block. Either your block list keeps on increasing or you start ignoring these people your partner doesn’t like. It is a result of their toxicity and your submissiveness in front of them.
They don’t care if those people mean the world to you; they will always come up with a reason to hate them. Such people make your life hollow by kicking out special people out of it. All they want is that your life should revolve around theirs even if they don’t give a damn about yours.
You Can Wear A Specific Type Of Clothes
Okay, this is a no brainer. If the “love of your life” wants you to wear particular kinds of clothes then you don’t need us to tell you that you need to “RUN”.
We don’t mean to put considerate people in this category. Let us clear it out! We are talking about the type of people who will bash you for showing off your skin while they strip the most of their clothing. If you have to think before picking up a dress, then you are probably in a wrong commitment zone.
You’re Never Good Enough
Even if you are the best girlfriend slash boyfriend, it doesn’t matter. You are never good enough, not even close! Anything you do, anything you say, and it is never going to make them feel that you are “special”. We wonder how it feels to be so critical in life. Moreover, the worst part is that they are never bothered by how bad they make you feel in the process.
Hence, you need to put more effort to impress these critically sick people. No matter how hard you try, they will always see the mistakes you do.
Every Occasion Is A Bad Memory
You are now scared of the occasions that come your way. You can expect them to ruin every good day into a bad one. Every time you think it’s gonna change, they will take you by surprise and eff up the whole event.
“Wait, what? It’s celebration time? Let me just make a mess out here for you to sort it.”
Whenever there’s a family gathering, you have to fake a smile and hide your tears behind the hoax. If you need to turn a probable beautiful memory into a scar, take them with you and you are sorted.
You Feel You Are With A School Bully
Do you remember that one guy who’d bully all the innocent kids at school? Yes, that is what they are in your life. They bully you for no reason and make you feel inferior in every aspect of life. You doubt yourself and your worth once such a person enters your life.
The dominance and the love for power make such people crazy. They get on your nerves and try to take lead at every front. Every time you are out with them, they try to make fun of you like it’s hilarious but it kills you inside and that terrible feeling is the sign that you are in a toxic relationship.
It Is Always About Them
“Is it your birthday? Oh, you just got promoted? I am here to take your thunder away.” They can’t bear the fact that you are given a small piece of attention. Well, narcissists tend to do that to you.
If you are with a person who gets carried away with the importance they give to themselves, lie about their achievements and troubles, lacks empathy, and is jealous of other people, you are most probably dating a narcissist.
You end up ignoring them or have to make excuses for their behavior in public. That’s the struggle of being with a narcissist.
You Feel Bad, All The Time
Feeling terrible for nothing you did is the sign you need to get out of the relationship you are in. Toxicity makes you feel like your insides are burning. They somehow change your reactions and most of the time those emotions are negative. If you are a person who has high emotional intelligence and you control your emotion, that doesn’t change the fact that you are in a toxic relationship.
Some people end up sticking to those toxic people because they think they have already invested a lot in the relationship. However, that isn’t the right way to deal with such people; they need to be left alone.
You Are The Trouble Maker In The Relationship
It is always your mistake. Even when they are creating havoc in your life, you must have done something wrong and that is the reason they are behaving this way. The appearance of your couple is that you are the dumb one and they are the perfect one.
Hence, they make it look like you are the one making all the mistakes and they are always forgiving you. The case is in fact, quite the opposite. But you cannot say anything because you are the submissive one in the relationship.
Hence, you end up apologizing every other day even when you did nothing.
Your Needs/Problems Don’t Matter
Why would they? You are not even a human being for them. Even when you are crying in front of them, they consider you being overdramatic at that moment. If you are not important to them then how can you expect them to consider your problems and need important? Maybe you are being pointless here.
This overload of ignorance and negative energy just makes you feel that something is definitely wrong with you. Hence, self-doubt becomes a part of your personality. So, get out of there and work on yourself.
You’re The One Putting In All The Efforts
Everything good that happens in the relationship is all because of your efforts. You see not even an inch of initiation from the other side. When your date goes by good or you make small efforts to see them smile, those are the only sources of happiness for you.
Also, you cannot expect them to do the same for you. They will never do something “FOR YOU” let alone getting out of their comfort zone. You can expect them to be the sweetest person on the face of the earth when they see their benefit in something. Getting some bedroom action can be considered that one thing.
You Can’t Say “No”
Just to give you a piece of advice, never strike the word “no” from your dictionary. Toxic people tend to hate when you use that word. They can’t take no for an answer. In the name of love, they will ask you to do things that are not in alignment with your conscience and you do it because they dominate you like no other.
Adding on to this, you cannot expect them to say a “yes” when you need to hear it. They keep their life sorted and mess up yours.
You Are Playing All Alone
When we commit to someone, we commit to having their back at all times. We make sure the balance in the relationship is maintained. If your relationship doesn’t follow these norms, you are screwed, my friend. If you are not a team and you are all alone in this game of two then toxicity is also a part of the bonding of you two.
As a couple, you have to take shots for each other but if that’s not the case with you two, you should know the exit gate of that relationship too.
Victim Of Physical Or Verbal Abuse
Well, if this is a part of your relationship, you don’t just have to get out of there but you also have to show that person the pathway to the courtroom. It is not acceptable and it will never be. Being a victim of either of the two makes you a criminal as well. If god forbid you have kids together, the impression they have on themselves is worse than what you go through.
The torture of watching a parent being beaten by another parent is awful and heartbreaking.
Passive Aggression Is A Vital Part
Toxic relationship emerges when you stop communicating and you never let your partner know about the things that bother you. That is what destructive people do. They stop saying things that bother them and keeps repeating them while they taunt you.
Clarity is no more a part of your relationship and you always keep wondering what is that you have done. They will be cold to you and say things like, “I’ll just stay at home by myself while you go out and have fun.”
Once you start hearing such things, you know the status of the health of your relationship.
Issues Never Get Resolved
How can they get solved when only one person is dragging the relationship ahead?
Can we get to the shore when in a boat of two is rowing in two different directions?
No, right? Hence, every fight either gets ignored or you are blamed for it. There is no solution to the whole scenario. Issues remain issues until you leave that person. So, choose for yourself.
For resolving an issue, you need to have trust in the person that they can deal with your insecurities and in toxic relationships, trust is lacking.
You Have Lowered Your Standards
Have you seen the pattern of your dating life? If you have ended up in a toxic relationship, the pattern has deteriorated and this one is the worst in the list.
Such people lower your standards and make you stick to your terrible choices. Every time you threaten them to leave, they become a cry baby and make you feel that you are making the worst decision of your life and they are the best you can ever have.
This way you get stuck in that vicious circle and never get out of it. Once you realize your worth that is the time you finally get hold of yourself and know your actual standards.
You Can't Get Private Space
“Privacy? That’s what you need?”
“Why are you even with me?"
“Are you cheating on me?”
These are some of the reactions when you ask them for your personal space.
However, when they need the same, you can’t even call them. Such people know how to stick to you like a leech and how to keep you waiting, all according to their convenience. They know how to be at two extremes; sucking the blood out of you and leaving you hollow in both cases.
Your life has no legit meaning to them. They are narcissist for a reason, isn’t it?
It’s All About Lies
One part that makes them what they are. Lies are a vital part of their personality. Most of the troubles, achievements of their lives are made up. Why? Well, because as we have mentioned, they can’t deal with someone else getting the importance. They need it all, they need it even when they have no reason to get it.
Even when you know they are lying, you cannot confront them because you are aware of their over-the-top reactions. They will make you feel bad about questioning them on a thing they lied about.
You’re Blamed For Everything
Did you guys have a fight? Did they lose their cool? Did they fail in their exam? They didn’t get promoted?
Anything that happens in their life, you are to be blamed for it. Because you are not the important one in this relationship. The narcissist person lacks empathy so you can’t expect them to understand your side of the story. All you can do is to leave them. They always know what you did to them but they cannot recall anything wrong they did to you.
