1. WHAT AN OLD WIND BAG
When I started working as a dental hygienist, I had an adorable and energetic older lady as my client who came in to get her teeth cleaned.
After she had settled into the chair and reclined back, I began removing plaque from her teeth.
Towards the middle of the appointment, my stomach started to grumble. We had a good laugh when she made a joke about the loud sounds, but a few minutes passed and the grumbling never stopped.
In fact, it went down south… all the way down south. I had to use every ounce of energy I had to make sure I didn’t pass any more gas while I was hovering over this poor old lady.
Eventually, it was out of my control. I couldn’t stop it. So I thought I’d at least let out some silent ones as I went to get some “new dental equipment." To my horror, the silent ones I planned were exactly the opposite.
I released a monstrosity that sounded like an eruption.
As embarrassed as I was, this sweet lady remained cheerful and said, “There you go, dear!” She then went on to tell me how she doesn’t feel bad because she ripped a few in the waiting room too.
It goes without saying, this lady has been my favorite client ever since.
2. THERE’S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY TO SAY “OCCUPIED!”
I was traveling via train from London to Manchester and needed to use the bathrooms.
In this particular train, there was a washroom at the end of the carriage which was disabled-accessible.
Because of this, it had a curved and wide automatic door which opened at a slow pace (so around 20-30 seconds to completely open). The movement of the door was a semi-circle to account for wheelchairs.
For anyone who has traveled by these trains, it is common knowledge that once you enter the washroom, there is one button to close the door and another to lock it.
Unfortunately, this lady in the washroom was not aware of this mechanism - she kept the door unlocked the whole time. As I approached the washroom, another person, who came from the opposite side, pressed the button outside to open the door.
What followed were 30 seconds (which felt like hours) of pure horror and embarrassment.
As the door opened, everyone in the carriage saw the woman desperately reach and go to the other side of the washroom trying to find the door close & lock button inside.
The worst part was that she did all of this with her pants down and her bottom flashing to everyone in view.
Time could not move any slower, and everyone in the cabin remained quiet and awkward, unable to process what had just happened!
3. FROM BAD TO WORSE
Ex-bartender & waitress here. This happened at a pub a few years ago. A man came in and asked for a table for 2. Once he sat down, I asked him if he would like to order anything.
He asked for a drink and said he was waiting for his date and would order food once she showed up.
While he waited, he was served a few drinks and as an hour passed, he checked his phone to see if his date had messaged him..
He eventually told me he thought he was standing up. He started drinking his sorrows away by ordering more drinks. He started looking and sounding worse with each passing drink.
I told him to slow down but he insisted that he only needed one more drink before leaving.
After downing his last drink, he was on his way out, as promised, and lo & behold, his date walked in wearing scrubs looking completely burnt out (she clearly looked like a medical professional).
She apologized for coming late, and he decided to stick around for the date. What I had to endure serving these people was insane…
It was easily the most awkward date I had ever seen.He was drunk (I admit I shouldn’t have given him the last couple of rounds), but the worst thing was that their conversation seemed to be going nowhere.
He ended up going to the washroom & when he didn’t come out after a while, one of our servers went to check on him.
He told her that her date was in the washroom & was having issues.
Turns out, he was on the toilet, crying and we asked her to get him out of there and called him a cab.
She, not seemingly being able to get rid of him fast enough, threw him in the cab and ended up running like her life depended on it.
4. DR. FEEL GOOD
As a doctor, I’ve had my fair share of weird stories.. This is one such story about a patient who was in labor.
I had to check the dilation & this is usually a digital vaginal exam (the index and middle finger are set up in a “V” shape to check the estimation of the dilation)
More often than not, contractions distract patients and they do not have much of a reaction.
This lady was different. She went from painfully screaming “Argh! Ouch!” to slightly moaning “Ooh. Mm.” Of course, it took all my strength for me to keep it together and not visibly react.
5. TIMES WERE TOUGH IN THE NINETIES
This story takes place in the nineties. My wife’s friend convinced her to go on a blind date (this was before we met). The blind date and my wife were going to meet at the mall and figure things out after that.
Of course, there were no cell phones at the time so the blind date said he would be in blue jeans & a Megadeth t-shirt. My wife also tells him what she’ll be wearing so it would be easy to find each other.
She’s at the mall sitting and waiting for her date and after around half an hour, she decides to leave because it appears he’s a no-show.
Right then, someone comes up to her and wants to know if she’s waiting for her date to show up.
Turns out, it was him wearing very different clothes than he mentioned & when she asked how come he didn’t show up in what he said he would, his answer was a simple “My mom didn’t do the laundry yet”.
She was flabbergasted but they still, despite the multiple red flags, decided to have a meal together.
Unfortunately, he tried to pay by using expired coupons, fought with the lady at the counter & proceeded to ask my wife some ridiculous questions like: Does she know how to cook? What are the meals she can make? Can she make certain foods & how she makes other meals.
While the conversation is going on, he begins to add another question at the end of every answer.
He begins to ask her “Do you do it naked?” So when she brought up rock climbing and how she loves it, he asked “But do you do it naked?” In another instance, when she said she likes to grow her own vegetables, he asked “But do you do it naked?”
My wife had enough so she wanted to leave early. He asked my wife for money for a bus fare because his mom wouldn’t be coming to pick him up for a few hours.
My wife couldn’t believe a grown, 27 year old man would act this way. I guess I have to thank him for being so terrible, otherwise she may not have become my wife!
6. ANXIOUS LOVE
This is the story of my first date with my husband. We are both super anxious people who lack proper dating experience.
We chose the library parking lot as our date spot since we could use the free library wifi to watch Netflix in the back of the car.
Sadly, just as we reached the parking lot, the nerves got to my husband and started vomiting. Funny thing is, I had done the exact same thing before he picked me up. We were the perfect match after all!
7. UNO, DOS...OOPS
This story will teach you very valuable lessons to keep in mind for both college & life.
When I was in college, I applied for a co-op internship. This was at a big company & I wanted to stand out from every other applicant.
The job required some Spanish speaking skills and I thought nothing of it at first. I considered myself “familiar” with Spanish.
I could say things like “Hola” and “Como estas” so exaggerating my Spanish skills on my resume didn’t seem to be too much of a stretch. I decided to bite the bullet and write that I’m proficient in Spanish.
Boy oh boy, did I make a mistake…. The interview began and everything went well until the interviewer mentioned how great it is that I speak Spanish because they wanted someone to help out with the South American Division.
She went on to get her colleague, who was an expert in Spanish. The lady who interviewed me first told this lady that I’m the one who said I speak Spanish well.
Of course, I’m sitting and freaking out realizing how bad this is going to get (it was about to get worse than I ever thought).
The lady starts speaking with me in Spanish, and all I can comprehend is that she is asking me questions and I have no context.
My brain refused to remember anything from the minimal Spanish I learned in high school and all I could muster was “Si” a few times and smile and nod.
I gathered the courage to say that I was a little rusty & it had been a long time, and I got one of the most annoyed looks ever in my life.
She left & all that was left was an awkward atmosphere for the rest of the interview.
In all my years of experience, this was the only offer I didn’t get. So I learned, don’t lie on your resume, especially about knowing a whole other language!
8. RELEASE THE FLOODGATES
I got prostate exams every six months or so by my doctor, who was also a family friend. I always try to keep it light-hearted and make jokes.
Once, I was bent over and right when he finished, I, looking squarely at him in the eyes, said that I make people buy me dinner before doing that. He, of course, couldn’t stop laughing, though his nurse looked very stunned.
Unfortunately, not all jokes can be funny. I was getting checked & I looked at the nurse and was moaning and overall making the experience more fun.
She, however, was mad & this made the doctor laugh more. Sadly, his hand started shaking while he was still completing my exam and I relaxed, as did the southern region of my body.
I ended up letting go and releasing everything inside all over him.
9. BLINDED BY THE DAWN
College, the dreaded years of pulling all nighters.
During my second year, I had a super cute Facebook friend pulling an all-nighter with me.
It was great talking to her and I was single for a bit and felt like I could go for it. The next day, I submitted my paper and she asked me to join her for breakfast to celebrate the end of the semester.
I looked like crap and she looked bright and beautiful (not like someone who had stayed up all night for sure).
Breakfast was amazing and we were talking, laughing and basking in the glory of completing our papers & enjoying our coffee.
She, very sweetly, asked me if I was ready to move on & I said I was. In fact, I already knew who I wanted to go on a date with. She seemed excited and, while holding my hand, asked me who it was.
I, like an idiot, said I wanted to ask a girl Rebecca out and she was in my history class. She looked broken & I didn’t understand why.
I figured that she was upset and wanted to quickly bail so I told her that the semester was ending soon which is sad but I’ll see her next semester.
I bolted to my dorm only to realize later that that would be my first date with my wife!
10. MEETING THE FAMILY
When I was 20, I visited my grandma’s house during a college break.. One of my cousins, who was 2 years younger, was also going to my grandma’s house, and she had a major crush on me.
Apparently, my cousin had seen a movie, in which the girl waits on the guy's bed, naked as a surprise. She decided to use that tactic to wait on my bed only in her underwear, topless.
But there’s a cherry on top of this story
It slipped my grandmother's mind to mention to my cousin that I was also bringing my college girlfriend over for the weekend. While unloading the car, my grandmother showed my girlfriend to the room.
As the door swung open, my cousin was the one screaming in surprise.
11. SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
Not every story is a happy story. Once, I was a restaurant manager, and a well dressed lady in her mid forties had come in for a blind date.
Her excitement was clear as she had shown up early for her date. She was neither ugly nor overly attractive. While getting a drink, she struck up conversations with our staff and myself. She left a great impression on all of us.
That’s when things took a different turn, her date showed up half an hour late, on the phone.
He continued to stay on the phone, and once he was done he strangely proceeded to the bar to order a drink instead of ordering a drink to the table..
We thought nothing of it, but he didn’t seem like he was going to leave the bar. He kept ordering drinks and downing them like shots.
The poor woman took initiative, and headed to the bar to talk to him. She tried to strike up a conversation, but he seemed too distracted. It really seemed like he had some other exciting plans.
Things moved quickly after, he ordered his food to go, and once it came, he was in a rush to leave.
As he was leaving he tried to convince me that the woman wasn’t that attractive and that he just had to get out of there. I just rolled my eyes at him.
All the female staff went to console her when they saw her break down. I was even okay with her hanging out for the rest of the evening (free of charge), but, naturally, she just wanted to leave.
I was so angry how that jerk of a guy treated such a sweetheart.
12. THE LAST LAUGH
Imagine this - you’ve been single your whole life, but finally the day comes when the girl of your dreams is about to ask you on a date. Keep in mind this is not just any day, but it’s your birthday! Sounds like a story with a fairytale ending right? Guess again…
It all started when the love of my life asked me out for dinner and drinks. Everything seemed to be going well, and she even wanted to come back to my place after.
Before we entered my house, she warned me not to hook up with anyone on the first date.
Obviously being the gentleman I am, I assured her I was fine with that. I was actually glad because I had never even kissed a girl until that point…
So we got to my place, and everything was chill. We hang out with my roommates, listen to music, and talk for hours. Eventually, she gets tired so I walk her to her car.
Right as we got to the car, she kissed me and we proceeded to make out for another 30 seconds.
Since this was my first kiss, I could barely contain my excitement. I tried my best to hide it from her but as soon as she gave me a hug goodbye, she felt my bulge.
She couldn’t help but laugh, and I couldn’t stop apologizing. She sat in the car and said she’d text me when she got home. I never heard from her again. Happy birthday to me.
13. SHOWTIMES OF SADNESS
Not everything goes as planned. I learned this the hard way.
When I was in middle school, I was going on a movie date with my childhood crush. We were supposed to go to a movie theater that was about an hour away from our house (we lived in a rural town).
After my mom dropped me off, I waited for the girl outside of the theater. I waited for a little bit and figured maybe she was inside watching the previews before the movie…
I ran inside all excited, only to find that I’m the only person in the theatre. I figured, maybe she was just running late. An hour into the movie, she’s still not there.I was so upset, but I held it in and pretended like everything was still going smoothly.
Watched the movie alone, while almost crying and keeping it together.
14. IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT TRIP YOU UP
First impressions are not always as they seem, and this time, I was in for a treat.
I got that interview for my dream job, I did everything right, researched the company, got a new suit, and the whole nine. Made a good first impression, firm handshake, and confident responses to the easy questions.
On the way out, to an otherwise aced interview, and another firm handshake, I said, “Thank you, Sir.” I was not ready for what came next, she said: “It’s Ma’am.”
15. NUMBER TWO SECRET
Do you also hate going number two at someone else’s apartment that you barely know, especially if it’s only your second date, and also the first time going to his apartment? It only took a few hours for me, with no warning.
Things just had to go from bad to worse, the toilet wouldn’t flush. Panic brain made me wrap it up in toilet paper and hide it in my purse.
The next morning we woke to the worst stink ever, unfortunately for his roommate, he had to take the fall, and he never thought it could be me.
16. SAVE SOME CRINGE FOR THE REST OF US
This girl I liked wasn’t too inclined to go on her family trip, with her sister and parents. The reason for the trip being to help rekindle the flames of her parents’ dying marriage.
The 4 of them were driving to Northern California, from San Francisco, one of the stops on the way before continuing further north. Their first stop being a bed-and-breakfast inn for the weekend.
Two rooms were booked, but the icing on the cake was that the sisters had to share rooms with each of the parents. She drew the short straw and had to stay with her father.
Which was only made worse with my need to provide comfort, which naturally backfired, continuously.
"Aw, it won't be so bad!" I told her. "Your father will probably enjoy sleeping with you." It took a while for the sentence to sink in.
"Wait, I didn't mean it like that!" I tried to pacify her.
"I mean, like, he's probably sick of sleeping with your mom."
Which naturally made it 10 times worse, and just plain awkward.
"No, wait, I mean... I just mean that he wants to spend some quality time with his daughter." Which would have been the best way to bring things to a close.
"I can't say that I blame him, really. I'd love to sleep with you." Which is why we don’t really talk much these days.
17. JUST A LITTLE TINKLE
I’m a nurse. Once while checking on a patient’s leg, I noticed that she was going commando while wearing a skirt. It wasn’t my place, so I continued, I personally felt it was a bit unsanitary.
Not sure if this has happened to any of you, but when she sneezed, her whole body contracted, including her bladder, and with it just a bit of urine, right on me.
She gave an awkward grin saying, “I guess I did have to go.” I just thought to myself, yeah, clearly, while standing up to ease things.
Without saying a word, I let her doctor know she was ready, after cleaning myself up
18. IT’S A BIG POOP AFTER ALL
I took my three-year-old son to Disney World for a vacation. Of course, after about an hour in the park, both I and the offspring have to go to use the bathroom.
So, we head off to one of the main bathrooms right next to the big castle. I let the boy go first.
He performed a nice quick dump, complete with the customary "Good Job!" compliment from me, as we were still reinforcing the potty training mantras.
Then, I of course sit down and perform my own glorious number two, complete with a nice long "squeaky door" fart which had the offspring in hysterics.
At this point, the child starts screaming out in a voice that can only be described as booming "GOOD JOB DADDY! YOU'RE THE BEST POOPER I KNOW!" This, of course, led to various chuckles from within the long line of stalls populated by other fathers.
The chuckles ended up turning into outright boisterous laughter. I was so proud of my pooping abilities and so glad to finally be getting some widespread recognition for this special talent of mine.
Well, I'm a somewhat shameless person, so I clean up and go wash my hands to find that I'm now getting many nods of approval from everyone in the can who had heard the interchange.
I was the best pooper at Disney World that day and was somehow both internally embarrassed and outwardly entertained at the same time. And no one can ever take that away from me.
19. GOOD GRIEF
Ignorance is bliss. An elderly couple we knew from the neighborhood church was out strolling with me and my mother.
As we walked, they shared stories of their sons. Their eldest son passed away from an incurable brain tumor the previous year, and their younger one recently moved out for university.
The first thing Mom said to them was, "It must be nice to have the whole house to yourself! More time for church!" and bringing that up was inappropriate.
The conversation then took a bad turn. My mother ignored every sign to stop talking about their son's death, even after admitting that they hadn't been to church since he passed away.
The couple's faces fell. I couldn't end the conversation quickly enough.
My mother informed me afterward that I was being immature and had no idea what "polite adult conversation" was like. Sometimes good intentions can lead to unintentional hurt.
20. DRIPS OF LOVE
Sometimes even the most awkward first dates can still turn out well in the long run. I decided to ask this girl on a date after knowing her for quite a few years.
We had a lovely dinner that led to making out on my bed. That’s when my nose started to bleed, and the blood started to get on the both of us, I could already see it on her lips.
In a panic, I tried to wipe it off, but just made it worse by spreading it all over both our faces.
While I washed up in the bathroom, she politely let me know that she would be leaving as the moment had passed, and declined my offer to walk her to her car.
At the doorstep, she added, “It’s really too bad, because I was in a REALLY good mood tonight.” Soon after I was in a bar to forget the night.
That was 10 years ago, we’re still together since then, and married for 6 of those beautiful years. Love you, sweetheart.
21. SWEEP THIS UNDER THE RUG
So there I was, sitting in the hospital waiting room, when this old guy came in with a situation you wouldn't believe - he had a broomstick stuck where the sun doesn't shine (in his bum)!
Usually, people have all sorts of wild stories about how they end up in these kinds of predicaments, but not this guy. He was as honest as they come.
He tells the hospital staff straight up, "I was having a wild time pretending my broomstick was a horse, using the washing machine for support like it was my trusty steed stable.
But like all good rides, this one came to an end when my knee decided it had enough and just gave out on me."
Next thing he knows, he's on the floor, and the broomstick isn't where it's supposed to be; it got stuck in his bum.
He tried to handle the situation himself but quickly realized this was a job for the professionals, especially since his knee needed some attention too.
Watching from my corner, I couldn't help but chuckle. It's not every day you see a cowboy ride into a hospital on a broomstick. But hey, life's full of surprises!
22. LOVE STINKS
Do you know how they say that one of the few tests of a healthy relationship is to see if you are comfortable enough to pass gas around your partner?
Well, not always. It has to happen after you get into a relationship.
A colleague and I had a routine of going to a park close to our office for walks, and getting water from a Stop N Go, in case we got thirsty.
One time, when it was crowded, and we had to park further away than usual, she stayed back in the car while I went to get some water.
By the time I got back to the car, it was like a skunk had been let loose. The windows being rolled down did not help one bit.
She was apologising to no end, while I was hysterical, almost tear, laughing. In time, she couldn’t help herself, and we both had a hearty laugh.
Our friendship could only evolve from that point on, and we both knew it.
23. NO NEED TO BE CATTY
So, my girl and I were in our wild college days, right? One night, she went all out on a date, drinking so much she totally blacked out. Ended up giving me, the bathroom, and the bedroom a new paint job with her puke.
Next morning, she wakes up all cleaned up, clueless about the night's adventures. She kept asking me to spill the beans. When I finally told her, her face went so white, you'd think she'd seen a ghost.
Turns out, in her tipsy state, she thought I was possessed and needed an exorcism, which basically meant hurling everywhere.
I managed to get her to drink some water, gave her a bath, tucked her into bed, and then played cleanup crew for the room and bathroom.
Man, she was mortified when she heard the story. The only thing she remembered was the cat giving her this look like, "What on earth did you just do?"
24. MISTAKEN IDENTITY
So, there I was, visiting the doctor after having some extra fat removed through liposuction from my neck.
I walk in, thinking it's just a checkup, and the doc tells me to strip down. No biggie, I figure he needs to see how my neck's doing in relation to everything else.
So, I whip off my blouse and bra, standing there in all my glory. But then the doc's eyes widen, and he stammers out that he's got the wrong patient. Turns out he mixed me up with someone who got implants!
I couldn't help but laugh at the mix-up, but the poor doc was blushing like a tomato. I guess even doctors can have their embarrassing moments!
25. Just Desserts
It was our first date, and I wanted to make it sweet—literally. So, I picked this cozy dessert shop I'd been eyeing for a while.
The evening was going great, we were laughing, sharing stories, and getting to know each other. When it came time to wrap up, I wanted to show her my chivalrous side.
I confidently said, "Don't worry about it, I've got this." I was trying to be Mr. Smooth, but fate had a different plan.
Strutting up to the counter with my debit card in hand, ready to settle the bill, I was met with the shopkeeper's apologetic smile. "Sorry, we're cash only." Talk about a facepalm moment.
With my cheeks burning, I trudged back to our table to confess my oversight. "Um, do you, by any chance, have cash on you?" Luckily, she was cool about it, even though I felt like a complete doofus.
To make up for my blunder, I promised her a second date - this time, making sure I had cash in my hand.
While we had a good laugh and enjoyed another outing, it turned out we weren't quite the match. Still, it's a story I won't forget, and a lesson learned—always carry cash on a date.
26. A Black and white Issue
I was refereeing a soccer match between two 15-year-old lads. The team colors were RED and WHITE. The Red Team included one African American youngster.
As the game proceeded, it got more serious and out of control. At halftime, I warned both benches that I would be calling the game close, and that the next foul would not be accepted.
30 seconds into the 2nd half, the African American youngster made a hard foul. I blew my whistle loudly and yelled, "TAKE A REST, BLACK!" When I realized what I had said, I instantly tried to correct myself.
I fumbled over every word. The damage was already done. One of the other team's players told me, "Not cool, dude."
27. Knock, Knock
I once caused an awkward scenario for my surgeon. When I was 21, I was involved in a vehicle accident and underwent very serious back surgery.
My physio had regular check-ups with my surgeon. I didn't mind because the receptionist at his office was incredibly cute.
Every time I went in for a check-up, I had the thought that she liked me. I was afraid to ask her out, so I did some research first.
During one of my trips, I spoke with the doctor about if she had a partner. He said that he didn't really go into her personal life.
I could respect that. It was their workplace.
Cut to a few weeks, I spotted her at a pub and started chatting with her. We sort of hit it off and exchanged numbers before leaving.
We planned a date to visit the beach a week later. It went well, and she invited me over to her dad's place.
She stated that he would be grilling steaks and had plenty to go around.
So, when I went to her place, I wanted to be the one on the grill. Who answers the door? My bloody surgeon!! I'm sure it was as awkward for him as it was for me.
28. Falling in the rain
In my first year of college, I scored a date with a guy from my Italian class. So Picture this: a cozy dinner followed by a stroll, the air just crisp enough to hint at rain.
And then, as if on cue, it starts to drizzle, transforming the evening into something out of a rom-com.
Except, there I was in my ballet flats, which, let's be honest, had zero business on slick cobblestones.
I took one step and bam, my feet flew out from under me, and I hit the ground with a thud that echoed off the historic buildings.
Popping up faster than a jack-in-the-box, I tried to brush off the embarrassment. He's all concerned, asking if I'm alright, and I'm there, trying to laugh it off, saying I'm just a bit queasy.
Classic understatement, because the next thing I know, I'm blinking back into consciousness from the gutter, of all places.
We ended the night not with a moonlit kiss, but in the fluorescent glow of the student health center.
The verdict? A broken tailbone earned me two weeks with a donut cushion as my constant companion in class. So much for finding love in Italian class, Isn’t it?
29. A Super Screw Up
Ever wondered what happens when a teenage web designer’s prank goes disastrously public?
Picture this: a high school kid, that’s me, lands a dream job designing websites for nonprofits.
My bosses, playing the age-old game of “keep the kid’s age a secret," handling all the in-person stuff themselves.
My role? Craft and code the sites. One of our major clients was the Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation.
As part of the process, I’d set up the site’s skeleton and toss in placeholder text. This content was only visible internally, or so I thought.
Now, our team has a quirky sense of humor. Instead of the usual ‘lorem ipsum,’ I decided to go rogue for a laugh. I filled the site with mock-up text that, well, took a pretty irreverent stab at humor.
Placed lines like “Herp derp I am Christopher Reeve, I drive myself with a straw” peppered with allusions to kryptonite and unfortunate equestrian mishaps. It was edgy, and meant for internal eyes only.
Cut to one afternoon, I walk into the office and boom- my bosses are all lined up, dead serious. They usher me into the office, and I’m thinking, ‘This is it. I’m either getting pranked or I’m in hot water.’
Chris and Dana saw the site, and my boss dropped the bombshell. My mind races- Chris and Dana Reeve? The realization hit like a freight train.
The director, eager to show off our progress, hadn’t pre-checked the content and presented it directly to Reeves.
My heart sank to my shoes, maybe even drilled down to the center of the Earth. My boss was grave, mentioning I was in ‘deep, deep trouble’ but didn’t spell out my fate just yet.
Miraculously, I wasn’t fired. Dana Reeve, understandably, wasn’t thrilled, pushing for my dismissal. My penance? Drafting an apology to the Reeves.
Later on, I caught wind that Chris Reeve, bless his soul, found a silver of humor in the ordeal. Still, it was a hard-learned lesson in professionalism and the unexpected reach of ‘internal’ jokes.
RIP, Mr and Mrs. Reeve.
30. Better Late than Never
Imagine being twelve again, where the biggest adventure might just be your first date.
That was me, living in Germany, heart pounding with the kind of anticipation only a twelve-year-old can muster. The plan was simple: catch the bus to the Air Force base where she lived, show up a bit early, and make a good impression. Simple right?
Wrong. As I strolled to her place, a sinking realization hit me- I’d forgotten her apartment number.
With each building a carbon copy of the next, I began a comical yet desperate quest, knocking on door after door, greeting an array of confused faces. “Hello, is Petra here?’ became my awkward refrain of the evening.
By the time I finally found her, ‘fashionably late’ had turned into ‘disastrously tardy.’ Petra, understandably, was not pleased. Our next stop? A dance where the atmosphere was ripe for teenage drama.
My buddies, seizing the moment for merciless teasing, didn’t hold back. ‘Look at him, on a date!’ they jeered, while her friends contributed their share of snide comments.
The evening spiraled down from there, ending with Petra in tears and me wishing for nothing more than to vanish into thin air.
So, Petra, if by some twist of fate, you are reading this, know that I’m truly sorry for the fiasco that was supposed to be our special night.
