5: Daddy, can I tell you a secret?
Dad: Sure thing, buddy!
5: *Grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn’t wash my hands.
Who All Knew?
If you have kids, you know what this tweet is talking about! You will do everything right and make everything kids-proof but kids do what they want to. And in the process, they can destroy your home even with the least dangerous thing you could think of.
Before giving birth, you are not actually aware of what is that you need to prepare for. Actually, kids come in the world to give you the most quintessential lessons of your life. Find out the next lesson!
Are You Ready?
Family planning is important and you need to know what you will need to do once you are a parent. It is not just financial security or emotional stability in life that determines your readiness.
You need to ask yourself some important questions and one of them is, “Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next four years?” You’d be lucky if you have managed to get your kid hooked to Tom And Jerry. After all, no one can get bored with those two.
Apple Story
As kids, we never really took the quote “An apple a day keeps the doctor away” seriously! For us, fruits were the most disappointing part of our lunch boxes. And apparently, this hasn’t changed for kids of today’s generation, even when the girls of the previous era have become mothers.
Hence, now we put apples in our kids’ lunch box even when we know that the apple is going for a stroll and will be coming back in the manner it left home.
Even Mothers Don’t Share
When you have kids at your home and you are the mother of those kids, you cannot say no when they ask for something you are eating. Hence, mothers gotta hide their favorites and eat them all alone by hiding in the closet.
Harsh but it is the truth of millennial moms! We cannot let our kids have all your snacks; we need to have some of them hidden up our sleeves.
The List
When you are planning to be a parent, you gotta know everything you will need to do after becoming gone. We urge all the parents to provide us with their list. Meanwhile, this person has prepared one and we think he covered all major issues.
Once you have excelled in doing these tasks, you are ready to deal with all kinds of the task of parenthood.
The Age Issues
Once you have kids, you need to know that age is not JUST A NUMBER! For them, everyone above 20 is huge and maybe older than one should be. When you start talking to a kid, you will realize things you had never thought of before.
Like this one, who could have thought what will be the last number in the matter of aging?
Hide And Seek
Yes, the hide and seek where you aren’t going to find the hidden chocolate because the parent ate it last night and took a dump in the flush this morning. Heartbreaking and adorable at the same time, isn’t it? Parenthood is tough when the parent and the kid want the same thing and you just have one of those.
We better break the assumption that parents don’t have cravings. Well, they do and sometimes they are more serious than you think. Guilty as charged!
Clean Up
As a parent, you become obsessive about cleaning. You want everything to be “Monica Clean” but another truth you need to know is, no matter how much you clean, what all you clean, at what time of the day you clean, it is going to get dirty once your kid enters that region.
If you fall into the category of this mother, you need to know that you have earned zero skills of smart work when it comes to cleaning. Can you please tell us, what is the exact purpose of cleaning when your kid is still there?
Please Tell!
Why do we lose things when we need them the most? And at times we don’t have the ability to find things! Like this mother, many moms have to give up their sleep to find things for their kids and drop them off to schools or playgrounds.
In this case, we would suggest mothers give a jersey looking t-shirt of the same color. Your kid is not gonna find the difference in the excitement of his next soccer session. By the time he realizes that you will be back to bed and he will be busy playing his favorite sport.
Finding The Right School
By the right school, we mean the schools that are best for your kids and in the same area for god sake. When your kids are studying in different schools and they are at two different corners of the city, you can expect zero free time for yourself. Hence, you are in the driver seat for most of the time of the day.
Now we need someone to drive us home, please!
Stop Crying
Parents do everything possible to stop their kids from crying, even if it involves eating 10 tablespoons of chili powder. In this case, it wasn’t as wild as we explained.
This parent had no answer to his kid’s question; hence, she did what was the nearest logical solution to her kid’s crying. Honestly, we’d go to any extent to keep all kids away from crying, even if they don’t belong to us.
Keep Them All
Being a parent is tough and the toughest job among all the duties is to get rid of all cute selfies of your babies. No matter how blurry the picture is, you can never find them blurry enough to delete. Why? Well, when the love of your life, a piece of your heart, and your own baby with such an adorable face clicks its own pictures, you don’t feel like deleting even one of those blurry imperfect pictures.
They Wanna Play Games
All the time! No matter what the situation is, no matter what the time is, if your child is awake, there is a huge possibility that they’d want to play a game on your phone. So, be ready to give up your personal life and texts on your phone once you have a baby.
Warning: Your wife will never as for your phone as many times as your kid will.
Good Nightmare
Once your kid starts to learn new things, they start applying it to real life and start saying those new words. They start using curse words and embarrass you in public. However, sometimes, in private space such as your bedroom, they’d come and say things that can scare the hell out of you.
That may include the wishes they give you at night and steal your sleep away.
We Still Want Them
Kids won’t care how much space is left in your bag, they want what they want. Somehow, when you have an abundance of space in your bag, they won’t ask for even a single thing. Parents would never understand this mathematical equation but it is true in most cases.
Therefore, if you are planning to be parents, keep extra bags, in case, your kid wants extra snacks at the last moment.
You Don’t Wear Specs, Jack!
How to make your kid believe that the dream they just saw was not the reality? How? If you manage to learn it, let us know because my son believes that his father slash my husband is superman’s assistant and he wants him to arrange a meeting with him.
We are stressed on how to convince him that his dream is not how things work in real life. This mom has the same struggle.
Ew!
What to do when your kid gets all the naughtiness from you and you fall victim to your kid’s mischievous activities? Also, you can never expect a kid to be clean and without poop. The two activities they majorly involve themselves in are eating and pooping.
And neither of the two activities involve clean hands or clean clothes.
We Don’t Know How To Laugh At This One
With such innocence, we can’t stop going “aww” for this child. Imagining a kid doing this makes us fall in love with him already. And when it comes to the dumbness, didn’t you tell this parent that kids get over their dumbness?
And maybe this dumbness is proof to his creative streak. And if he is really dumb, screw your genes.
Want A Sibling For Your Kid?
Please reconsider it because maybe you cannot deal with the level of sharing you will have to learn with more than one child. If a person has to split AN M&M for a single child, imagine the things you will have to split.
Yes, you will have to split that too, the thing that came in your mind!
Take Your Time
We want to know what “late” exactly means for you. Because having cheerios like an individual donut is strangely weird. How many hours did it take her to complete the bowl? We suppose you reached the event only after it was over. Are we right? Are we?
Kids can take their food quite seriously and you can’t ask them to gulp cheerios along with milk, that’s inhumane.
