Nowadays, flying isn't what it once was. It is fair to say that "flying the friendly skies" is now more of a myth than an exception because of all the tiresome security screening, canceled flights, and missing bags. The fact that both the flight crew and other fellow passengers must put up with annoying passengers makes the situation even worse.
The following list includes some of the most annoying travellers ever to share a plane with:
Baby Blues
I was a pilot doing roundtrip flights between Chicago and Milwaukee. Everyone was quite worn out after the four days of travel, and all we wanted to do was return home. Since it was snowing, we were all boarded and waiting for the de-icing vehicle to arrive and spray us.
They finally sprayed us down after more than an hour of waiting for the truck, and we began pushing back. Suddenly, the flight attendant called up to inform us that a woman wanted to exit the aircraft. When we told her she couldn't, the lady made a suspicious claim. She told the flight attendant that her baby needed to leave the aircraft due to a medical emergency.
We couldn't deny her request, so we drove back to the gate and let her out. The infant appeared to be in good health, but we still questioned if she needed paramedics. She refused to take the infant to the clinic, which was only 50 feet away and also declined medical care.
Since they had checked baggage, we had to ask the ramp staff to search the cargo hold for their luggage. At that point, we were almost two hours behind schedule, but we finally had them off and were getting ready to go. As we were about to shut the door the gate agent rushed up to us.
We rolled our eyes as she spoke to us. She told us that when the lady got to know that ours was the last flight to Milwaukee, she begged us to let her board again and fly with us. the captain and I exchanged startled looks, told the gate agent that he shouldn’t allow her board again, and got out of there.
It Was A Sickening Experience
Once, I was flying to Boston and got seated beside this man, who looked like he was in his mid-30s. He seemed extremely sick like he had the flu. He had an aisle seat, whereas I was in a window seat. I put on my headphones once we were at cruising altitude since I had a long flight and wanted to take a nap. With both earphones in, I was unable to hear anything.
I was about to fall asleep with my eyes closed when I suddenly felt my leg become hot and wet. When I opened my eyes, I witnessed the most horrifying scene: He had his head between his legs and was vomiting a lot.
The capacity of the human stomach to store so much fluid surprised me. I was terrified as I sat there. The man had vomited all over my leg, his legs, his shoes, and even inside my shoe. There was no extra clothing in my carry-on, and the entire cabin smelled like vomit. After that, I made it a habit to bring along spare clothes.
Two Peas In A Pod
Once, I was seated next to a 6'6" 400-pound linebacker. He was an enormous man. No one could lower the armrests. My body extended out into the aisle as his leg rested on top of mine. I stood at the back of the plane after takeoff until the final approach.
The kind flight attendant apologized to me and expressed her own perplexity as to why they had seated the two biggest men next to one another. I smiled at first, but then it dawned on me that I was the second-fattest passenger on the flight.
Walk The Line
I was travelling from Des Moines to Mississippi on a standby flight to see a buddy. The flight was booked, and its departure time was scheduled at 5:45 am. Since it was so early, I assumed that someone might sleep through their alarm and miss their flight, allowing me to grab their seat, but I had no such luck. I felt dejected when I saw the final woman being wheeled onto the plane.
But suddenly there was a ray of hope: security had informed the gate attendant that the woman was being wheeled there because she was trashed, and it was up to the gate agent whether or not she should be allowed on the plane. The gate agent said she could fly if she walked down the terminal to the plane without tripping.
I was watching her, secretly hoping that she would fall so I could take her seat. She face-planted just as she was about to reach the plane, and I got lucky.
All Fired Up
Being an employee of the airline, I got to fly for free as a standby passenger. One day, when I was taking a flight to New York, I saw a girl who worked as a gate agent for our airline also travelling to New York with her group of friends.
When you fly like this, the airline imposes a lot of regulations on you to protect their reputation. The moment these females boarded, they began acting foolishly. The plane was warm, so it was obvious that the APU wasn't connected, keeping the plane's electricity from running the air conditioning.
The AC turned on as soon as the APU was connected and switched on, and something started blowing out of the vents. Even when the plane was completely boarded, individuals were still putting their belongings in the overheads.
The vents began to release what seemed to be steam, dust, or mist. The females caused a complete mess at that point. They screamed, "THE PLANEIS BURNING.” Naturally, the flight attendants did not think this amusing, and they were all taken out from the aircraft.
The Attendants Had To Weigh In On This Case
I was flying back from Hawaii. Everyone was boarding and the overhead storage was almost entirely packed. This elderly man- who seemed to be in a very grumpy mood- had just boarded and had one of the Economy Plus seats in the front of the plane.
The bin over his seat had been shut since it was packed. The elderly man unlocked the bin and took a suitcase out of it. He lifted it up so that the passengers could see it and asked who this bag belonged to. The owner of the bag spoke up. The old man’s next action left everyone stunned.
He hurled it right in the middle of the aisle and screamed, “Well, find a new spot for it! This seat cost me $60"! While all this drama was going on, the queue of people waiting to get to their seats kept on increasing. The two men got into an argument until someone finally called an attendant, who settled things down.
They left the old man’s bag where he wanted it to be and placed the other man’s luggage with the flight attendant’s belongings. For having to put up with the crap, the attendants later brought that guy a first-class dinner.
All Revved Up With No Place To Go
I travelled from England to the US for the first time when I was about eight years old, and then I moved there permanently a year and a half later. Around 10:00 p.m., the plane took off. As an 8-year-old boy, I got bored about halfway through and had trouble falling asleep.
Since the plane was only about half full, I decided to explore. A rather huge man who was still awake was sitting around five or six rows up. There was nobody else nearby, so I struck up a conversation with him. He was friendly, made jokes, and had sweets.
Despite having finished serving everyone else, the flight attendant kept bringing us beverages and snacks which I found to be really cool. They also kept saying sorry to him and asked if he wanted them to make me leave him alone, which I thought was hilarious.
I eventually found myself falling asleep next to him. He went and grabbed me a blanket, and just let me rest. When I woke up, I was shocked by what I saw- my mother was apologising to him profusely and took me to the back of the plane.
When we got to our seats, she reprimanded me for making her feel embarrassed, and we didn't speak again for the rest of the flight. He stopped by my mother as we were getting off the plane to let her know he didn't mind my sitting with him. He also mentioned that I kept him entertained.
He told her that he hated travelling alone. He hugged me and then autographed something for her. She didn't tell me that the man from the plane was Meatloaf until a few years later. This is still my favourite "I met a star" story, especially after he became famous once more a few years after that.
She Was Out In A Flash
We were struck by lightning on the day we were travelling to St. Louis because of the poor weather. Since we couldn't be certain of the extent of the damage, we were permitted land first. Once on the ground, I took a look around and noticed the damage.
The plane was down for what I assumed to be obvious reasons, so the outbound flight—the last of the night—was cancelled. Since we were scheduled to fly the plane back out, we were without a hotel for the night. So, we were assisting the gate agent as we awaited word from crew scheduling.
After a while, people lost patience and insisted we board the plane. I showed them the window at the melted wingtip and the large scorch mark on the aircraft. One of the women then confronted me at that point. “what makes you think I care about your paint job?” she yelled. “You'll regret it if you don't get me on that aircraft and take me home.” Needless to say, the lady didn't board any of our flights the following day.
Citizen Sane
My father was employed in an airline for over 30 years. Post the horrific incident of 9/11, a lady who was flying on the flight from JFK to Heathrow demanded to be allowed to leave the plane while the plane was 4th or 5th in the line for takeoff.
Since the doors were locked and they were getting near the runway, the attendant naturally refused. That upset the woman so much that she went crazy and dialled 911 on her cell phone. She said that she was an American citizen being detained on a foreign plane against her will and that they were about to transport her to another country.
The FBI and the cops arrived in less than 3 minutes. They surrounded the plane, took her out, and grounded the flight while they looked into the matter further. She ultimately turned out to be a crazy person who ruined everyone's flight.
Short-Haul Fight
In the past, I often flew on those little commuter aircraft with 14 rows, one seat on one side and two on the other. The majority of the time, everything was fine—I would book one of the first few seats on the side with only one seat.
On one trip, though, I had the bad luck to have the window seat on the first row of two. I am 6'2" with a wide football player physique, so that was bad. I walked to my seat and asked the lady I was supposed to sit with if she would want to take my window seat. She gave a furious look in response. She finally got up to allow me through after much wailing and crying.
The moment I sat down, she deliberately began to hit me with her elbows in an attempt to push me off the armrest. It was pointless because I couldn't sit up straight on that side of the plane due to physical restrictions. I didn't hear a word uttered to me once at that time.
She finally had enough and pressed the call button. She began to lecture the flight attendant, telling her that I was occupying her space and that she couldn't possibly sit like that for the whole 45-minute trip. She still didn't say a single word to me.
The flight attendant grinned after being berated. She knew just how to handle her. She moved the woman to the very last row of the aircraft after informing her that there was an open seat. She whined nonstop about how pointless this was and how she was going to sue everyone.
The Perils Of Flying
I worked as a flight attendant for five years. I got insulted over the quality of the ginger ale I served at the time, including being hit in the face, squeezed behind, spit on, and punched. In addition, I had to deal with passengers trying to stow their baggage on my jumpsuit just before landing and couples trying to get it on in the galley, as well as others who left their bare feet on the bulkhead walls.
But what was the worst thing I've ever gone through? I was eating from my lunch tray when trash was dumped on it.
It’s A Crab, Crab, Crab, Crab World
I was on a flight in the late 1970s when I saw a small girl, maybe 5 years old, travelling alone. Her loving grandparents walked her to her seat. they placed a padded cooler beneath her feet as They bid farewell while sobbing and holding tissues to their eyes. She was returning to her home in California from Maryland.
The attendants made sure that they checked on her from time to time. She was quite calm and well-behaved. She nonetheless continued to unbuckle her belt as she knelt to open the cooler's zipper and peek inside.
With each minute of the journey from Maryland to California, she seemed to be becoming more and more anxious. I finally grinned and asked her, "Do you have a pet mouse in there, or perhaps a rabbit?" She said, turning to face me, "No, crab cakes- Maryland's specialty.”
She started crying at that point. She added, "Nana bought Maryland crab cakes since Mommy asked me to bring them home. My mother warned me not to lose the crab cakes or she would spank me forever. What if someone steals my crab cakes?” “I can't afford to lose the crab cakes”, she sobbed while saying.
Hearing how much pressure she was under to deliver her mom with her priceless cargo made me sad. I suggested that we lock them up with a magic key to ease her tension. I acted as though I was locking the cooler case as we zipped it shut.
I whispered, "There," after slipping my invisible key into her pocket. “Nobody can take your crab cakes. You are now free to read or sleep as you like.” She said, “Okay. You must keep an eye on them as well for me.” “You bet”, I said.
She was helped off the plane by the flight attendant as we landed, and she was then handed over to her mother, who was waiting for her at the gate. She grabbed the cooler from the girl and said, “Come on”. The mother just turned around and went ahead of the girl without so much as holding her hand.
The girl was several steps ahead of me, but she still turned back and waved at me as she continued to deliver her crab cake.
Navigation Situation
I worked as a pilot for a small company in northern Canada. Since my aircraft only had eight seats, anytime I'm carrying a full set of passengers, one person must sit in front of me in the right seat. One day, I had a full load on the plane, and the passenger next to me was one of those arrogant, obnoxious men who believe they are always right.
He questioned me about our location five minutes after takeoff. I told him exactly where we were, and a few minutes later, he started arguing that we were moving in the wrong direction. I double-checked my GPS and other navigational devices to be sure I was headed in the right direction.
I corrected him and pointed straight ahead, explaining to him that was the direction we needed to travel. After that, I had assumed he would stop bothering me, but he simply wouldn't stop. Then he suggested that we should be turning around there by pointing over his right shoulder. At that point, I already knew this person was a moron.
He just shook his head the rest of the trip, and I made repeated attempts to ignore him. after we had arrived at our location, I just gave him the "how about you just let the pilots do the navigation from now on" look.
She Didn’t Have A Leg To Stand On
I was on a flight from Miami to New York City. Since I hadn't slept in three days, I was excited to see a vacant seat next to me. Just as everyone took their seats, the passenger in front of me started whining to the flight attendant. Her life or death was at stake? She insisted that her seat didn't have the extra legroom that she had paid for.
She was DEMANDING that she should be given a seat closer to the front of the plane. the flight attendant, who didn't seem to know what she was talking about informed her that she couldn't be moved up. After arguing for quite some time, the girl finally gave up, and the flight attendant continued with her takeoff tasks.
As the girl was now seated in the emergency exit row, the flight attendant had to go back to her so she could give a quick speech on what to do in an emergency and ask whether she was prepared to do that. The girl refused. She probably assumed that by doing this, she would be seated closer to the front of the aircraft.
When the girl objected about sitting close to the emergency exit, the flight attendant suggested that she move back to the vacant seat next to mine. Things quickly became out of control after that. She lost her mind on being forced to move a seat further back in the plane.
She made such a big issue that the pilot had to come out to sort things out. The entire crew decided that she had to be taken out of the plane.
She Raised A Stink
My husband was returning from Hawaii. While waiting in line to board, he noticed a strong body door. He began to freak out because he feared it may be him. He tried to sneakily sniff his armpits when he saw that several of the others waiting there were also doing the exact same thing.
Up until they boarded, he kept wondering who might be. At last, he concluded that either it was someone else or there was a stockpile of raw onions nearby. He was in first class, in the aisle seat, thanks to all of his frequent flier miles. He sat down and took a book out.
He saw that the window seat next to him was vacant and continued to be so for some time. Then, as boarding was coming to an end, an awful, overpowering door suddenly filled the cabin. The first-class passengers' responses were comical; the smell was so terrible that they all snapped their heads up to see what in the name of the foul earth had just stepped onto the aircraft.
It was a woman, perhaps in her late 20s or early 30s, dressed extremely hippie-chic in a flowing top over a tank top. She smelt as though she hadn't had a shower in days. She had a seat right next to my husband. My husband was a seasoned traveller, so he was used to a lot and had a reasonably good tolerance, but the stink of this woman made his eyes instantly begin to water.
When the flight attendant came to greet us, the woman ordered a Mai Tai. She then took a book out of her bag and started underlining passages. Meanwhile, call buttons were flashing nonstop, and nearly every other passenger on the flight was complaining about being forced to go from Hawaii to Los Angeles in a metal cage with someone who smelled like she hadn't showered.
My husband observed the flight attendants at the front of the plane having many nervously whispered chats over the following fifteen minutes as this woman sat there reading. My spouse switched between texting me in utter dread and looking the staff in the eye. They were nodding and wide-eying him in response as he gave them the "wide eyes of terror."
My husband was worried that if he smelt this powerful smell, he might have a migraine shortly. The smell was so bad that the passengers nearby were covering their faces with their clothes. The gate agent finally came. She asked the woman to follow her to the front, where they reportedly gave her some soap, fresh clothing, and directed her into the bathroom. They believed that would make it better, but they were totally mistaken.
She came out a few minutes later with fresh clothing on but with the same foul door. She came back to her seat and ordered another drink right away. A few more minutes passed as my husband continued to give the flight attendants quiet "help me" glances and other nearby passengers started to make more vocal concerns.
Finally, it became clear that there would be a mutiny in the first-class cabin if nothing was done.Two agents came forward. My husband had to awkwardly sit in the centre of the conversation, leaning against his seat back, because this lady had the window seat and he was in the aisle.
The agents leaned in and informed the lady that she was not allowed to fly with them because of how horrible she smelled. She couldn't believe what she heard and kept saying, “Just because you think I smell” and “To me, this seems like a lawsuit”.
The agents were being as kind as they could while explaining that they would be happy to put her up in a hotel for the night so she could take a shower but that they couldn't allow her to board another Delta plane until she had cleaned herself up. She didn't make a big deal out of it, and they all packed her belongings and left together.
She complained just before leaving, saying she had to go for an urgent meeting back in Los Angeles that afternoon and couldn't possibly miss it. “Well, we can't help you, but I think there's still a place on a United aircraft," one of the staff members said cleverly. according to my spouse, it was one of the most bizarre vacation experiences he ever had.
Mind Your Manners!
I once encountered a really rude woman while working as a flight attendant on a flight to Montreal. She initially made a derogatory remark about how small the plane was. She then created a scene when I informed her that her roller luggage would not fit on the aircraft and would need to be gate checked.
when I explained to her that she couldn't have a seatbelt extender in the exit row due to FAA regulations She simply assumed that I was poking her to get angry. Thereafter, things just grew worse.
When it was time for the service, my hands got burned by the coffee maker as I poured her a cup, but she insisted on another cup since the coffee wasn't hot enough for her. I told her that there is absolutely no way that I can make that coffee hotter.
Moreover, she murmured something disparaging about me as she passed me on her way to the washroom because I was chatting with the two guys in the last row. It seems like when individuals fly somewhere, they leave their manners at home.
Wrestlemaniac
On a regional flight that was ready to land, there were a couple of WWF—now WWE—wrestlers. One of them had to use the washroom. The flight attendant informed him that he was not allowed to get up from his seat as the flight was about to touch down.
He so decided to take matters into his own hands and went in the aisle instead. The wrestler was detained and prohibited from travelling on airlines.
Go On, Get Out!
My mother worked as a pilot for Northwest Airlines. A man entered her airplane, gave her a quick glance, and then uttered the most demeaning sentence: "Ugh, a woman captain. I'm leaving”. "Good, get off my flight," she replied. “People are waiting on the standby list to fly with us”.
We assumed that he expected her to submit and politely ask him to return, something she was never going to do.
In Poor Taste
I was travelling from Boston to Vegas when a poor man passed away. We made a detour to New York and he was removed from the aircraft by emergency services. His widow was taken off the aircraft as well.
We were about to resume our flight when a jerk in the front seat turned to face the clearly devastated flight attendant and asked her a completely pointless question: "Do everyone get free drinks now?" Talk about being disrespectful.
Nicotine Fit
I was on a direct flight from Phoenix to London. Before we boarded the aircraft, I talked with a passenger who I met at the gate. This young man apparently had never been abroad but had chosen to go on this trip after finding a decent offer online. He enquired about the flight's duration. I told him that it would take 12 hours.
I also informed him that smoking on aircraft has been banned 15 years ago, which made him quite anxious. He started acting nervously after we were on the airplane and over the Atlantic; he would walk up and down the aisles, clearly having nicotine fit. He was repeatedly told to sit down by the flight attendants. He finally disappeared.
He left the bathroom with a massive cloud of smoke just as I was about to go use it. Through the door, I could see that he had written on the bathroom mirror and covered the bathroom walls with hand soap. When I returned from the restroom, the flight attendants were talking to him and trying to calm him down. He wasn't aggressive, but he was nonetheless stubborn.
He stood up and began pacing the aisles once more as we approached Heathrow. The flight attendants shouted at him to sit down. He didn't listen to them. As soon as the plane landed, the captain announced over the loudspeaker that everyone should remain seated while the authorities come to remove a passenger. Everyone remained put and officers entered.
The man completely lost it at that point. he took a shot at the first officer while kicking the second one. In no time, they were handcuffing him and removing him from the aircraft. Some of the other travellers began to applaud as they brought him outside. Over the years, I have witnessed similar things, but that particular experience was the craziest.
Diamond Medallion Dimwit
I went through the worst experience with one of Delta’s “Diamond Medallion” members. In Memphis, the plane had a mechanical issue that needed to be fixed. So the gate agent announced that we would be late.
The mechanic had been contacted and was on his way out. Since the mechanic would need to do some troubleshooting before beginning the repair, there was no definite anticipated time for the job.
I was called over, and this guy had the most arrogant attitude ever: "I'm a Delta Diamond Medallion member, so tell me precisely how long this delay is going to be." "What?" I exclaimed. I gave everyone EXACTLY the information I knew, and I couldn't give a damn about anyone's airline status.
There Was No Shaving Face
On my flight, there was a 20-year-old girl who was travelling to see her boyfriend. She went to the bathroom to shave. No one had ever imagined a smooth journey to become an unpleasant one- there was turbulence and she severely cut herself.
Paramedics had to be called, and they carried the girl out. The co-pilot observed a trail of her blood down the jet way after we got off the plane. It turned out that she hadn't actually cut her leg; rather, it was simply her period. I felt bad for her and I hope everything is good with her.
A Minor Inconvenience
Once, we had two children travelling with us. Just after we pushed back from the gate, the eight-year-old boy began to have a panic attack and cried that he couldn't fly. So we turned around and returned to the gate.
The captain announced that we were going back to the gate so that the paramedics can take the child off the plane. He only mentioned that the boy was sick; he didn't specify what the medical condition was.
Except for this one lady who really got on my nerves, everyone seemed to be understanding. She pressed her call button right away, making the crass suggestion that we should hold the plane in Atlanta for her as we were now definitely going to be late. There was a 30-minute delay overall, and no one lost their connections.
Only a few times did I feel like punching a passenger, and that was one of them.
He Got Called Out
My mother had boarded a flight that was ready to take off from the gate as it was waiting on the tarmac. A businessman seated next to her in first class was shouting at someone on the phone.
A very sweet flight attendant came over to my mother and the businessman’s seat, and said, "Sir, you're going to have to switch the phone off. The cabin's doors are shut”. The man lowered his voice but kept talking on his phone. The moment plane began backing up, the flight attendant started with their safety protocol speech.
Suddenly, the man started shouting on the phone once again. Another flight attendant with a more serious tone asked him to put the phone away. The man got irritated and swore at her. She made a “humph” expression and disappeared.
The pilot slammed open the cockpit door, and my mother watched him move toward the guy. He was so enraged that you could see the veins popping out on his face. His eyes were bulging with anger as he shouted, “WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER?!!? This is my aircraft and I expect every passenger to follow the instructions given by my cabin crew in case of any emergency. When you treat her poorly, you treat me poorly, and it puts everyone on this plane in danger.”
This huge, furious ex-soldier pilot was now bearing down on the man. He hid, put his phone away, and mumbled his apologies. The pilot replied without skipping a beat, "You can take your sorry and shove it! You will not be going anywhere. After speaking with TSA You may inform whoever was so important on the other end of the phone line that disobeying an order from your aircrew is punishable”.
The pilot returned to the cockpit and pulled the plane to the gate. The man was removed by a group of armed cops who entered the room. The aircraft was completely silent. After that, everyone simultaneously pulled out their phones, waved them about, and showed that they were off, exactly like the Indiana Jones movie's "tickets" sequence.
This Flight Went Down The Toilet
As an aircraft engineer, I had the opportunity to fly with several different airlines. However, the experience I had flying on a low-cost airline in Nigeria is the one that will stay with me forever. The majority of the travellers hadn't ever seen a toilet before or had ever used one.
They were peeing into water bottles, and I saw a few "presents" in the aisle. Fortunately, I had a jump seat on the flight deck, but the smell nearly made me throw up a few times. It was the most dreadful three hours of my life.
Move It!
On the flight from Frankfurt to Montreal, there was a man in the centre of the aisle with an empty seat next to him. This mother and her young daughter, who was perhaps seven or eight years old, approached the guy and respectfully told him that his seat and the one next to it were theirs.
The man didn't listen to them. He was kindly requested to move once more by the woman, but after that, things only got worse. The man began sulking and crossed his arms like a child because he didn't want to move.
The woman told him that she wanted two seats next to each other so that she and her daughter could sit together because her daughter had never travelled before, but that request was denied. As they continued to argue, the male shouted at the woman, calling her a terrible human being.
We got up to give the woman our seats, but she flipped the gentleman off before we could say anything. I wanted to praise her.
Stow Rude!
Once, I had a long layover of around three hours. I reached my gate, which was located right next to a bar. I relaxed and enjoyed myself. I calmly made my way to the plane as boarding began when I noticed that I was at the wrong gate.
That was terrible enough, but I soon realized something even worse: I wasn't even at the right terminal. As I approached the gate after making the reservation, I heard my name being called out. I was breathless as I made my way to the aisle where I saw a woman who was adamant her suitcases would fit down the aisle.
Apparently, she had a back problem that kept her from checking her baggage. The little flight attendant was making an effort to lift the incredibly hefty suitcase, but she was having no luck. I eventually caught my breath and took control. While the flight attendant and I were trying to secure the passenger's belongings, she had taken her seat, belted up, and pulled a book out of her bag.
This Travel Companion Was Bananas
My mother has worked as a flight attendant for TWA since the 1960s, so she has witnessed many things that are no longer acceptable. One time, a man with a tweed suit, round spectacles, and a height of around 5'2" entered the aircraft.
He secured his suitcase in the seat next to him. He was told to put the luggage in storage by my mother. He very politely showed his ticket to her. Later, when she returned, she was startled to see that the guy was conversing with a dead stuffed monkey in place of the bag.
He sweetly asked my mother for a banana, which he then tried to feed to the monkey. The entire trip was spent like this. Finally, at the end of the flight, he packed up the monkey.
Flight Attendant Flip Out
After boarding, everyone was settling down until a woman called for the flight attendant from across the aisle and a few rows up. She apparently went to put something in the airsick bag, but as she reached in to put her hand in, it was covered in vomit and she got it all over her hand. I could hear everything because I was only a few seats behind.
She respectfully requested some napkins from the flight attendant. The guy got irritated and disappeared. He left and didn't return for over five minutes, and in that time, this poor woman had someone else's vomit all over her hand. When she finally called for him, the flight attendant FLIPPED OUT.
This woman seemed remarkably laid-back considering that she had vomit on her. He must have been having a horrible day or something. She was ultimately removed from the airplane by the flight attendant. It was quite the scene since the man was literally shouting at this poor woman just for asking for some napkins. As no one wanted to deal with this crazy person, the rest of us just sat there in quiet. We were all concerned that if we said anything, we would all be removed.
One Wine Day
I was travelling from Lithuania to the UK. After the plane had been flying for five to ten minutes, the flight attendant approached a young woman who was wearing a lovely white dress and inquired to see if she needed medical assistance. Her shoulder had a large red spot that was spreading and appeared to be blood. The woman seemed to be somewhat shocked.
Someone may have been able to sneak in a few red wine bottles because they started to crack and leak slowly onto the passengers seated beneath. Nobody claimed ownership of the bag, so the attendant took it and removed it.
No Empathy Here
This incident happened when I was in X-ray school and my teacher and I were returning from an annual conference in Las Vegas. Two rows behind me, a woman started having a seizure. Her spouse had no idea how to help and no one seemed to care.
My teacher quickly got up from her seat and asked me to assist her. We attempted to lift her entire weight of roughly 300 pounds and move her to the aisle, where she was lying on her side. Nobody came to our help. Everyone was just staring.
I completely get why some folks are unable to or don't want to help, but that wasn't what truly got me. The pilot requested us to stay in our seats when we landed until the EMTs assisted her and her husband out first. No one paid any attention. Before she was even secured to the backboard, they started moving in the aircraft so that they could leave and didn't care at all.
My teacher and I were helping the EMTs to request the passengers to remain seated. That's when a man stood up and shouted at my teacher. We were in shock. The lack of empathy these folks showed astounded me.
Mother Of All Brats
When I was a kid, I was returning home after spending a few weeks with my grandparents, who lovingly dropped me off at the gate. Besides the lovely flight attendants who pampered me, the trip was boring. When the plane landed, one of the flight attendants walked me outside to a crowd of people who were eager to see their loved ones—including my mother, who hadn't seen me in a while.
As soon as I entered through the departure door, she started jumping up and down and waving. "Is that your mother?” the flight attendant said after noticing my mother's excitement. I immediately responded in a sarcastic tone that led her to furrow her brows: "I've never seen that woman in my life."
The next 20 minutes were spent with security questioning my mother about her relationship with me and her identification to verify that she was, in fact, my mother. Although the family laughs from the story were definitely worth it, she never forgave me for it.
No Rest For The Wicked
I was taking a low-cost flight from London to Egypt. Because of this, there was almost no room for legs, and the seats wouldn't recline. This was bad enough for someone my height (6'4"). I was doing my best to get through the journey when suddenly I felt someone hitting my seat from behind.
Not pushing, but straight-up punching. When I turned around to see what was happening, a young woman, who appeared to be between 18 and 20 years old, started yelling at me. Her comment enraged me. She said, “What's up? You constantly move your seat and that is waking me up even though I've been trying to sleep the entire trip with my head on the tray"
Except for one person who simply shrugged, everyone I looked at seemed to be completely perplexed. When I politely explained to her that the tray was not a headrest but rather a surface to place food on, she got furious and started verbally abusing me.
Things heated up so quickly that the flight attendant had to intervene and ask the passenger to remain calm and refrain from swearing or shouting as it was disturbing other passengers. She was trying to justify herself by claiming that I kept her from falling asleep since I was moving in my chair. The flight attendant struggled not to giggle.
The Far Out Smell
I once flew a flight that lasted more than three hours, and by chance, I was seated among the three rows of the filthiest hippies I had ever seen. I've worked in some unpleasant environments and have smelt pretty ripe at the end of the day, but these guys make me feel ashamed. There are no words to describe the smell. It was a rotting, decaying organism that was alive and breathing
These folks surpassed the stink of a corpse that I had previously smelled. I called up a flight attendant and asked her directly whether there was a cleanliness policy for passengers. She understood my point right away. She quickly went and informed the captain.
I heard the captain say, "Oh heck no," but he hadn't even reached the curtain separating first class from the business. “Get them off the aircraft. No one should have to endure this on a 15-hour long flight.”Two attendants arrived and didn't play around when they addressed the group.
They respectfully but sternly informed them, "We're going to have to ask you to deplane and get a shower due to the lack of cleanliness. We'd be pleased to suggest you a hotel and once you all clean up, we would put you on the next flight.” Although there was some murmuring, things mostly went without any issues.
I didn't feel bad complaining about them. I didn't have to tolerate the human equivalent of a sewage treatment plant for 15 hours, while seven standbys received discounted flights to Sydney.
A Chimp Off The Old Block
My mother-in-law and my sister-in-law were flying to Texas to see schools. They were travelling on miles and had been promoted to first class. A bigger woman with an extravagant haircut a la Amy Winehouse was walking ahead of them into the first-class compartment. She spoke with the flight attendants and other passengers and was outgoing and entertaining.
They didn't give it much thought since she resembled just another Dallas housewife returning to her rhinestone-covered mansion and 20-foot-long Cadillac with bull horns. We had no idea how much chaos she would shortly bring about. After two and a half hours of flying time, my sister-in-law noticed an unusual keening noise that sounded like a newborn crying or a wounded rabbit.
She took a quick peek around but saw nothing so she went back to reading. She heard the same sound a little while later, but this time it was louder and seemed to be coming from behind her. She took another glance around but saw nothing and went back to work. This happened a year before 9/11, so things were not quite as fearful as they are now.
But after hearing the noise three times, she began to get a little scared. As she looked around once again, She caught the attention of the gentleman across the aisle who was frantically typing on his laptop. “Do you hear that noise?" she questioned. He just murmured, "Monkey," and made a head-back gesture while staring at his computer screen.
When my sister-in-law turned around, she witnessed a startling sight: a gray baby monkey in diapers with hairy arms and legs was coming from the enormous woman's beehive hairstyle and was wailing for a bottle like a hungry infant. Sure enough, to complete the scene, the woman removed the monkey from her head, grabbed a bottle from her big Louis Vuitton purse, and began feeding the monkey on the plane as if it were a real baby.
Blinded By The Light
Even after being repeatedly informed that flash photography was not permitted when I was flying night helicopter tours up and down the Las Vegas Strip, people would frequently take shots with their flash devices. It simply boggles my mind that anyone would find it acceptable to briefly leave the pilot of the aircraft blind.
He Was A Total Headcase
On a crowded plane, I once saw a man throw a fit after the flight attendant put another passenger's bag over his seat. He was afraid he was going to get hit in the head, so he ordered that the area remained clear. The aircraft was packed, so the luggage ended up there. If anything happened to him, he threatened to file a lawsuit against the airline, the flight attendant, and the bag's owner.
He got up at the end of the flight, opened the overhead compartment across the aisle, and took his own luggage out. He didn't care if his bag knocked someone else's head off.
Seat Swapper
As I boarded the aircraft on my way home from a business trip, I saw a middle-aged man sitting in my seat. I looked at him and told him he was in the incorrect seat. turning to face me, he said, “That's my seat there, right across the aisle. Does it even matter?” He wanted me to simply sit down on his seat.
Even though I was a little furious, I just said, "Not really." Then, when I took his seat, I understood that his taking my seat wasn't a mistake. The seat next to where this guy should have been sitting was occupied by a man in shabby attire, with longer hair that resembled dreadlocks hidden behind a cap. At that point, I understood what this idiot did.
He didn't sit on my place by mistake. Just for some reason, he didn't want to sit next to another man. I sat down, greeted the man in the shabby outfit politely, and then stared at the person across the aisle. Not because I had to sit there, but rather because of how the person next to me must have felt as a result of what that moron did.
It required a lot of restraint on my part not to cross the aisle and beat that person.
He Was Berry Irate
We used to serve special lunches on flights across continents. The order for both directions has to be placed online upon check-in. There were lots of issues with that, but most of the time, people understood and accepted anything we could provide in the way of a replacement.
One man, however, lost his cool. He claimed we served his food to someone else or that we were eating his food. We had to show him the list and tell him that his name was not on it to convince him that we did not do what he was accusing us of doing.
after we served everyone else, We had one fruit platter left. We thus handed it over to him for his daughter, who was around three years old. What he did next made our anger flare up- the man then started eating it by himself. After that, he lectured us for the rest of the trip about what his daughter was going to eat.
Transcontinental flights often last 4-5 hours, so managing one passenger is a lot of work. Additionally, the staff was not provided with food, so unless we wanted to buy food at the airport, we hoped that something would be left over from the meals served to the passengers. That fruit platter belonged to me.
It Was A Kick In The Rear
My friend was travelling via plane. After landing, a woman in the back unbuckled herself and rushed to the front of the aircraft as it was taxiing to exit first, despite the flight attendants who were buckled in ordering her to stay in her seat.
She kept insisting she needed to leave quickly so she could catch her next flight. The pilot decided to politely give her a lesson once they reached the gate. he said over the intercom that The jetway had a problem, and the plane would be de-boarding from the back doors. It was nice to see everyone else's satisfied expressions.
Infantile Behaviour
On a long journey from Hawaii to Denver, the father in the row behind my family and I observed that our exit row seats had plenty of legroom. His seats, however, had hardly any. He was upset that we were in these seats and practically told all of the flight attendants to move his family to our seats as he had no room for legs at all. But it doesn't end there.
He also argued that my brother and I were too young to help in an emergency. He had two babies with him; therefore his argument was completely illogical. After a time, the flight attendants had had enough and simply ignored him. When we got off the plane, he gave us nasty looks, but I just grinned at him and chuckled.
Nailed It!
I travel frequently. I once noticed a man coming towards me while I was seated in the aisle seat. I could really smell him from approximately three rows away. He turned out to be in the middle seat next to me and reeked of excessive sweat. An elderly hippie was standing across the aisle. She was wearing a long skirt, and I saw that she was sitting with her feet up.
When I looked over, I saw that she was trimming her toenails with a nail clipper. The most awful thing happened at that very moment—my sweating neighbour was struck by a toenail that flew across my face in front of me.
He lost his cool, and the two most hideous persons ever got into a fight over who was the most repulsive human ever. The sweaty gentleman become furious at her rude behaviour made me laugh so hard that I forgot about the smell.
Under Pressure
A few years ago, I was flying a Citation jet, boarded with a group of rich kids who were flying to Chicago for a football match. They were in the back getting drunk and rowdy, which is generally okay, but after a time they were so loud and nasty that we had difficulties hearing the radios and holding a heading.
My captain gave me a look, rolled his eyes, and slipped on his oxygen mask. We then carried on our master plan, lowered the cabin's pressure, and put everyone to sleep.
They never got to know what we did!
Pedicure Prima Donna
I was travelling from Las Vegas to Los Angeles when the young brat in the seat behind me kept applying or removing her nail polish.” It smells like acid in here”, I thought to myself at first when I wasn't sure where the smell was coming from. Then I realized it was nail polish. The entire plane could smell the door since the air wasn't filtering it.
The flight attendant asked her to put it away as it was toxic. "Just let me finish my last two nails," the girl pleaded. The flight attendant didn't believe her and again instructed her to put it away. The attendant then made a joke about the girl who persisted on painting her nails on the plane by saying over the loudspeaker that the scent was coming from her.
Case Closed!
When I was around 13 years old, I was returning from a family vacation, flying from the Bahamas to Miami. The flight was short and quick. I got on the plane with my father and my brother, who was 17 at the time. My father placed our entire carry-on luggage in the overhead compartment above us, and we sat down to wait for takeoff.
Just as they were closing the cabin door, a young couple entered the aircraft. They took a seat next to us and started looking for a spot to put their bags. because there was no more space in the overhead bin, the man quietly removed my father's suitcase, set it down on the floor, inserted his own bag, and then closed it.
Then he simply sat down with his girlfriend, acting as though it was OK to make such a move. My dad did not approve of what the man did. “THIS IS YOUR LUGGAGE," my father shouted as he stood outside the aisle, pulled the man's bag out of the overhead compartment, and placed it onto his lap.
Then, the man yelled, "THIS IS MY LUGGAGE," shoving his own bag back into the overhead compartment and slamming it shut. Everyone remained silent throughout. I was startled, amazed, and scared since I had never seen my father transform into the Hulk before.
He shamelessly and awkwardly persuaded a flight attendant to make room for his bags. The flight was just 50 minutes long, and he basically avoided making eye contact with anyone the whole time by flying with a magazine over his face.
That Shore Was A Close One
I formerly worked as a flight attendant. On one trip, a woman who was obviously insane tried to open the bathroom door next to door 4R when we were over the Atlantic and in the middle of the night. She was unaware that she was risking everyone’s life on board- she was pulling the airplane door handle. She was able to bring it all the way up. I was observing her from my seat at the front of the coach class
Although the cabin was completely dark, the light from the back galley showed me this fantastic sight of the woman attempting to unlock the door. Fortunately, it was impossible to open the door in such conditions, but that scene stayed in my head for the rest of my life. I went to the cockpit to report the situation once we had secured the passenger and lowered the lever.
The only positive I took from the situation was seeing the pilot's pale face as he left the cockpit after hearing an alarm about the lock on door 4R going off in the middle of the Atlantic.
Here Kitty, Kitty
Since the late 1980s, my godfather has worked as a flight attendant. He's had some wonderful tales throughout the years. Once, one of his passengers brought her cat in a pet carrier with her. This woman first gave off the impression of being the usual crazy cat lady. She did, however, take crazy cat lady behaviour a step further, especially when it came to feeding time for the cat.
Instead of giving the cat some cat food and a dish of water, this woman began to breastfeed the animal. The thought of how painful that must have been makes me want to scream. My godfather, who was not pleased, firmly begged her to stop.
She Was In Hot Soup
Older Southwest aircraft had lounge seating up front with two rows of seats facing one other where first class would generally be. In that situation, the traveller would sit there for hours while looking directly at their fellow travellers. The plane was packed, and since this incident occurred before 9/11, there were no restrictions on the number of items you may carry on your travel.
All of the passengers' belongings were piled up on the floor, so the flight attendant had to walk the aisles asking everyone to put them in the overhead compartments. The woman in front of me carried a bag resembling a picnic cooler. The attendant inquired whether there was any liquid in it, and the woman said, “No”, so she placed it above my seat.
A massive floor-length fur coat was lying on the lap of the woman who was facing the lunch cooler woman. She was instructed to place it in the overhead compartment by the flight attendant. The woman suddenly lost it at that point.
She got into a heated argument about how her coat cost as much as a car and fitting it into a small place would damage it. Reluctantly, the woman gave in as the flight attendant was about to call the captain over to resolve the issue. The attendant assured her that she would take great care not to compress it. It also was placed in the storage space above my seat.
The passenger next to me suddenly perked up thirty minutes into the trip and asked, "Did you feel something?" I did feel something a second later. We had something dripping on us. When I looked up, I saw that the button area was covered with lines of water, and what had once been a little drop had grown into many drips per second. The attendant came and took a look at the overhead compartment. She gasped at what she saw.
The large thermos of chicken soup was inside the lunch cooler bag. Because it was in a sealed container, the lunch cooler woman said she didn't count it as a liquid. Then the coat—completely drenched in chicken soup—came out. Thus began the long stare-off between the two women who were seated across from one another.
What A Drip!
My father was leaving for a trip. The journey was going on fine when a man in a sharp suit had liquid spilling upon him from the overhead compartment. The man exclaimed, "WHAT IS THIS?!" Without skipping a beat, the little elderly lady with the strong southern accent remarked. The strange reality was soon made known: "Das my shrimp"! She managed to bring frozen shrimp aboard the aircraft. That poor man had a difficult day.
