SLAM DUNK: THESE 40+ BEST COMEBACKS SHUT IT DOWN
When someone is rude to you most of us have a tendency to say nothing and just let it happen. However, it’s super fulfilling when we dish out some of what they’re serving back to them. These comebacks were thoughtful, funny, and biting. A bunch of meanies were definitely put in their place.
1. Work Hard, Play Hard
I’ve worked in construction for about a decade, and a lot of my fellow construction workers are exactly how you’d expect. On this job, there was one who stuck out because he was really loud and loved to tell stories. He talked about how he loved to drink and how much trouble it would often get him in.
He said that in his entire life he has never been able to sell any of his cars. He says that he always ends up totaling them when he’s drunk.
I recently bought my first home and one of the other workers on the job was asking me questions about it. The storyteller overheard us and said, “How’s that possible? I’ve been working longer than you and can only afford a basement.
You’ve only been in construction for a few years, how can you afford a house?” My response was concise and ruthless. I replied, “I don’t have any drinking stories, that’s how.”
2. Karma Comes Back
In high school I took drama all four years because I really liked the teacher. She basically just let us do whatever we wanted as long as we were being productive.
She would often rant to the class about her failed marriages and her relationship issues.
Throughout high school I had always tried to date her daughter. Her daughter and her mother were both aware of this. Every time I did something embarrassing or dumb she (my teacher) would say, “And this is why you can’t get a girlfriend.” She would frequently take jabs like this at me. Finally, I had had enough.
I replied back with, “And that’s why you’ve never been able to keep a man.” She turned red as soon as I said that, and the whole class looked at me with looks of disgust. I could tell everyone thought that was a low blow.
3. Big Talker
I was watching Fast And Furious during lunch break and another kid was watching with me. He seemed to particularly enjoy the movie. One of his friends tried to be a smart alec and said, “Small minds are amused by small things.” The kid immediately got his revenge.
He replied, “Why do you think I’m always hanging out with you.” The whole cafeteria went nuts. I gained a lot of respect for that kid.
4. Going Out Strong
During one of the earlier jobs in my career, I had a boss who was not only rude but also a notorious micromanager. She came up behind me and looked at my screen from over my shoulder. She said, “Can I ask you a stupid question?” Since I was going to quit next week I decided to give her a spicy response.
“You seem qualified for that”. I was proud of myself, but it ended up being my last day.
5. Mother of Insults
My mom and I have a great relationship now, but we’d constantly argue when I was a teenager. She would often say things to me like, “You’re just like your dad.” I was sick of her saying this and I said, “I’m not like him. I’m way more intelligent.”
She said, “Yeah, and why’s that?” “I had a girlfriend like you and I broke up with her.” I could tell that one really hurt her. She didn’t speak to me for a week. I have to admit, I feel a little bad for saying that.
6. Take Out The Trash
I work in construction and we’ve been working on the interstate during the night when there is less traffic. There was some trash and debris in the middle of the lanes and my crew and I were working to clear it.
Another crew was also in the vicinity and they were doing some work with machines.
These guys were seriously obnoxious. They thought they were the best of the best.
I asked them if they could move out of the way so we could get by. The head of their crew said, “Let’s get out of this little lady’s way so she can pick up the trash.
You’re so slow and you didn’t even pick up all the trash.” I replied back, “Oh my bad, I don’t think you’re going to fit in this bag. Let me go get a bigger dumpster that we can put you in.” The guy’s jaw dropped. I don’t think anyone had ever stood up to him before.
7. Shopping Transgressions
I generally don’t like to toot my own horn, but I think this comeback warrants it. You know how some people ride those little motorized carts in grocery stores to get around. Well there was this one lady who was parked in an aisle horizontally.
This meant that there was no room for anyone to pass. I waited for nearly a whole minute for her to move, but she stayed put. I was a bit peeved, and I squeezed past in this little sliver of space that was available.
She yells to me, “Patience is a virtue.” Now you decide to finally wake up and be present. I replied without missing a beat, “And being lazy like a sloth is a vice.”
8. Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
I was spending time at a buddy’s house and his parents were arguing. This was nothing new. They were always arguing. His mom is screaming loud enough for all of us to hear (me, my friend, and his little brother). “Oh so you think you’re such a big tough man.
Why don’t you go and tell the boys why you aren’t able to get it up!” My dad came back with a quick witted response, “I don’t need to tell them. They already know why.
Go look in a mirror and you’ll know why too.” We started laughing so loudly that my mom heard us and kicked us out of the house. It was well worth it.
9. Run, Kid, Run!
We were watching Forrest Gump in English class. One of the greatest movies made in my opinion. Anyways, we got to the part of the movie where Forrest and Jenny get together.
This prompted someone to say, “I wonder how she felt sleeping with such a dummy!” The teacher quickly replied, “I’m not sure, why don’t we ask your girlfriend.”
The kid was so embarrassed that he slumped down in his chair and didn’t make a sound the rest of class.
10. Stand Up For Yourself
One of my female colleagues is someone who I don’t particularly like, and this morning she was in a mood. My male coworker is chatting with her for a bit and she is being short with him. He then says, “Seems like you’re on your period.”
She looks at him with a death-glare and replies, "I woke up in a pool of my own blood, and if you don’t shut your mouth, you’re going to end up the same way.” Wow. She gained my respect that day.
11. Too Short For This Ride
My brother accidentally went to Supercuts for a haircut. Needless to say, he wasn’t pleased with the results. He didn’t realize how bad Supercuts was. Oh well, lesson learned. He was completely bald. The next day at work our boss (who is very short) called him out on it in front of everybody.
He said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you have cancer.” My brother snapped, “Yeah, well at least I can ride all the rides at Disneyland.” Ooh that one had to hurt.
12. Let’s Trade
There was this guy I knew whose wife left him after she carried on an affair with his best friend for years behind his back. A couple of months later they ended up at the same family party.
This was the first time they’d seen each other in person since the affair was discovered.
My friend says, “How’s that piece of used junk treating you?” The other guy responds, “Well, it isn’t used once you get past the first two inches!” That has got to be one of the best responses of all time. I’m not sure how you can top that.
13. Beware Of The Witch
During my freshman year of college, one of my dorm mates was dating Shia LaBeouf. Her mother was a big time director in Hollywood so the two of them met on set.
Shia would occasionally visit campus, but it was mostly to pick her up so they could travel somewhere for the weekend.
However, there was this one time that he decided to stick around for the weekend. It was homecoming weekend so we were at the beach having our annual bonfire.
She introduced him to a bunch of people from campus. There happened to be a girl in our class named Ursula.
Shia said, “Ursula, like that ugly fat witch from The Little Mermaid?” Ursula replied, Shia LaBeouf? That little bratty kid from Disney Channel?”
Shia had no comeback for her response. We all started laughing.
14. Low Hanging Fruit
I went to Six Flags during my senior year of high school with my friend. We were waiting in line for the Batman ride when a couple of boys approached us.
They looked to be freshmen in high school. They tried to chat us up and asked us where we were from and if we wanted to sit next to them on the ride.
I wasn’t feeling it, so I quickly shut things down. “You look like you're 10, Call me when your balls drop.”
I have to hand it to this kid. He was good. “They did. They dropped in your mom’s mouth!” It’s been a decade and I’m still not over it.
15. Under Me
I overheard my mutual acquaintances having a funny exchange. The first person who is typically someone who likes to brag and is kind of a jerk was telling the other guy about his new gig. “My new job is awesome. I’ve got over two hundred guys under me.”
The other guy, who is quite witty says, “Are you mowing the lawns at a cemetery or something?” I laughed out loud for a minute straight.
16. Close Shave
I had a colleague who acted like an absolute jerk to everyone. I usually rocked a beard, but I shaved it off because I was tired of maintaining it. Fast forward to Monday, and I’m in the break room drinking my coffee when my mean co-worker strolls in.
He looks at me and says, “You look really dumb without your beard.” I take a sip of my coffee to give me a couple of seconds to collect my thoughts.
“That may be right, but I can always grow it back. You, my friend, are always going to be ugly, and there is nothing you can do to change that.”
Even my supervisor gave me a pat on the back for my comment. I think we all wanted to see that guy put in his place.
17. The Beast Inside
Unfortunately, I did not get to witness this exchange, but I’ve heard it so many times that I’m qualified to tell this story. This nearly got my friend’s older brother expelled from school.
The religion teacher was telling the class about ancient Jewish law and how zoophilia was strictly off-limits according to the Old Testament.
For some reason the teacher looked at my friend’s brother and said, “Is that upsetting to you Mark?” Mark replied, “Yeah, it really does. It means I have to stop sleeping with your wife.” The class went bonkers. The teacher immediately reported him to the principal.
He ended up graduating late, because he had to finish that class in summer school since the teacher refused to teach him.
18. Quick Thinker
I was in university at a party when I met a girl who cursed like a sailor. I’d never met someone in my life who said as many swear words as her. I kid you not, she cursed 40 times in a little over 5 minutes.
I turned to her and said, “I hope you don’t kiss your grandma with that potty mouth.” She retorted back, “No, but I blew your dad last night with it.” I was left speechless. I sipped my beer and walked away.
19. It’s Always The Quiet Ones
I grew up in a neighborhood that was predominantly black, and we’d often have rap battles on the bus ride to and from school. We knew who liked to participate, and it would mostly be those people who would battle.
One day, one of the rappers wanted to make an example of this little white kid who never said anything.
I don’t know exactly what he said to that kid, but it stoked a fire in him. The little nerdy white kid got up and looked him straight in the eye. “You’re whiter than me.
You suck at rapping and can barely even count to three!” A chorus of cheers came from every corner of the bus.
That guy was unable to battle for a week, because no one could take him seriously anymore.
20. Nerd Squad
This happened when I was in 7th grade, but it’s still one of my favorite stories. There was this bully who was quite skinny who would terrorize this chubby kid.
He would call him fat, pudgy, chubby, etc. Basically think of any mean name you would give a bigger person and he had used it.
We had a guy in our class who would frequently burn other people and he had seen enough. He told the bully, “At least his parents care enough to feed him. You look like a creepy lizard.” He ended up getting attention, but it just grew his legend.
21. Trigger Happy
I used to manage a gun shop and had a couple of regulars. One of them was this old guy who loved westerns. His favorite gun was the 1851 Colt Navy which also was a favorite of Wild Bill.
The old guy is in the shop perusing, when this baby-faced 22 year old enters the shop. This guy looks at him and says, “I bet you don’t have any clue what this is.”
The young guy looks at the gun and inspects it for a minute. After some internal deliberation he responds, “That’s an 1851 Colt Navy. Looks to be about .36 caliber. Wild Bill’s gun of choice.”
You should've seen the look on the old guy’s face. Priceless.
22. Nothing To Say
During college I used to bartend. I’m sure you’ve seen those shirts that people wear which have the name of the college and their major. The college I attended also had these shirts and I thought they were pretty cool.
I was a physics major and decided to purchase one of the shirts. I ended up wearing it to one of my bartending shifts.
Some of our regulars can be jerks. Not in a mean way, but more of like in an older brother kind of way.
Those of you with older siblings know exactly what I’m talking about. One of them decided to give me a hard time for wearing my physics t-shirt.
He said, “Why are you wearing that shirt? Is there a physics team on campus?” I replied, no “I’m just majoring in physics and thought it looked nice.”
He responded, “Hmmm, I feel like you should only wear that shirt if you’re a member of some sort of physics team.” I said, “Then why do you always wear a Dallas Cowboys shirt?”
This customer went quiet. I showed him.
23. Mean Princess
There was this girl in my school who you could call the queen bee. She was very pretty but also mean and she always would call me a white boy for no reason.
Despite the fact that she was beautiful, she did have a little facial hair which I could tell bugged her.
No one dared talk about her facial hair. Stupid, I know, but since she was the most popular girl in school this is just how things were.
I wasn’t in a particularly good mood when she started making fun of how “I wasn’t Mexican”. She then said that all the other boys are starting to grow mustaches and I am still baby faced. The whole class starts laughing at me.
I’d had enough. I said, “Yeah you’re right. I’m kind of jealous of yours actually” and I point at her upper lip.
I’ve never been in a room that was more quiet. You could’ve heard a pin drop.
24. Equal Rights
I’m a civics teacher who teaches the 12th grade, and we were learning about the judicial system. The students were awesome, and the students were engaged with the material. There was one student who was great at delivering one-liners and often made the whole class laugh.
This time, however, I was going to be the one to make the class laugh. I showed a picture with people of various ages and races in order to illustrate that the law is meant to protect everyone equally.
I told them, “It doesn’t matter if you’re fat, skinny, short, tall, black, white.” and the student interrupts, “Or ugly!” I immediately respond, “Yes the law is for you too.” The whole class burst out laughing including him.
25. Tongue Tied
My grandfather (maternal side) had passed away a few days before this incident. The night before his funeral happened to be very stormy and windy.
The funeral home then called my mom and said that she forgot to provide a tie that would be needed for the viewing tomorrow.
She started to panic, because she hated driving when the weather was like this. She would’ve had to go to my grandpa’s to get a tie and drive to the funeral home.
My dad chimed in, “It’s too late to do all night, especially at this hour of night and with the weather we’re having.” For context, my dad loved clip-on ties, in fact, I don't even think he owned any normal ties.
He continued, “You can just use one of my ties and drive it over in the morning.” My mom loathed my dad’s clip-on ties.
She responded immediately, “My dad would never be caught dead wearing a clip-on tie!” A few seconds later, she realized what she had just said and began to weep.
26. Zingbot
I’m Chinese and my face has a flat sort of look to it. In the third grade another student asked me what happened to my face and if I’d ever run into a wall head-first.
I replied, “What happened to your growth spurt, has that not kicked in yet?” He came from a family of really tiny people and my comment just enraged him. Me and him were sworn enemies till the end of high school.
27. Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
When my daughter was a couple of years old we spent the weekend at my parents’ house. One night after I had given her a bath, I was brushing her long hair.
Her grandpa said that she has so much hair that maybe she could lend him some to cover his bald spot.
Without even taking a pause she said, “I think you have plenty of hair on your back that can cover it.” She was only four years old so we were all a little taken aback.
28. Questionable Taste
I used to drive around downtown Des Moines with my colleagues John and Nathan after work, because there were usually hotties from the university walking around.
From our car we would look out the window and say which ones we thought were super pretty. Normally, we’d be in agreement, unless Nathan picked the girl.
Nathan got upset with us and asked us why we never agreed with him. I told him, “You always pick girls who look like guys, and sometimes they actually end up being a guy.”
We all let out a good laugh. He then made it his mission to find someone we could all agree upon. He found someone rummaging through their trunk and we could only see them from behind.
She had very nice long black hair. Nathan said, “Look, there’s the one. She’s going to be gorgeous, I know it!” We drove by the car and came to find that “she” was actually a he.
He just happened to have long black hair and a mustache to match.
I said, “See, I was right.”
29. Hard Feelings
I was at Costco doing my weekly shopping when I saw my former boss out of the corner of my eye. Shoot, I thought. I was hoping he didn’t see me as I didn’t want to talk to him.
The last year when I worked with him was absolutely awful. Unfortunately he saw me and came over to make small talk. I largely ignored him and gave him one word answers.
He exclaimed, “What’s your deal? We haven’t spoken in a year!” I immediately replied, “The best year of my life.” He turned bright red and quickly got his cart and walked away. I didn’t expect that to be so satisfying.
30. Little Bully
The guy who bullied me in high school was really little. I’m talking like 4 '10". I was 6’3” and I know what you’re thinking, how could you let that guy bully you.
I’m not really a confrontational person and am more of a gentle giant. That being said I easily could’ve taken care of him if need be.
He would always throw stuff at me, bump into me, and make rude comments about me.
We were in Spanish class when we were scheduled to have a lockdown drill. Since it was a drill we were just chilling under our desks talking.
I playfully said, “We’re probably locked down because the aliens have finally decided to invade Earth.” He quickly replies, Are you a moron? Aliens aren’t real. I then burned him so badly.
“Well, I didn’t think that leprechauns were real, but you’re here aren’t you?” He got so angry that he charged towards me. The teacher saw the whole thing and he ended up in detention.
31. No Returns
Whenever my mom and I walk into any store she never fails to roast me if the employee asks, “Can I help you?” My mom always says, “No, he was born that way.”
It was funny the first few times she said it, but at this point I’m like mom can you give it a rest. Come up with some new material.
32. Quick Shot
Our boss was late to work so one of my colleagues called him to ask when we could expect him in the office. He said that he’d be there but he’d be a little while. He said his wife and him were trying for a baby, and they wanted to time things up properly with her cycle.
My colleague said, “That’s fine, we don’t mind if you’re 30 seconds late. Best of luck.”
33. Gas Leak
In basic training there was a saying that was drilled into us by our superior officers: “Suck that smile.” If anyone was about to laugh or smile, they would yell, “Suck that smile!
Suck it so it goes all the way in your stomach and it disappears.” We had a bed check one morning, and out of the blue we heard a sound that sounded suspiciously like a fart.
The fart was so loud that everyone in the dorm heard it. We were all about to burst when one of the trainers yelled, “Do not laugh! Suck those smiles!” He then walked up to the person who tooted. You could tell he was fuming.
He yelled, “Private, What just happened?” The trainee answered, “Sir I sucked too hard, Sir!” Everyone burst out laughing including the trainer and all the superior officers. We ended up laughing for a whole minute straight.
34. Super Comeback
While in college, I ran into someone I knew on campus. I happen to be holding my Superman graphic novel. He happened to be with his girlfriend and when he introduced me to her, the very first thing she said was, “Aren’t comic books for little kids?” I still don’t know how I came up with this response.
Without even taking a second to think, I said, “Aren’t those A-cups for kids?” I was just so befuddled that someone I just met would say that to me. Still the greatest comeback of my life. Oh, and that guy I knew, we never spoke again. I guess I shouldn't’ be surprised.
35. Oooh Burn
I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and happened to stumble upon a fight between some people I knew. A girl wrote, “Taken but not appreciated,” in response to someone who was trying to give her some advice.
That same person fired back, “I didn’t ask for the title of your autobiography.” I actually made a noise when I saw that comment. I’ve never been so taken aback by a comment I’ve read on the internet.
36. A Perfect Match
Let me tell you about how my grandparents went on their first ever date. It also included a crazy comeback which thankfully didn’t derail their courtship. My grandpa was working the register at Mcdonalds and my grandma was in line waiting to order.
They’d met a few times before but never had a real conversation.
My grandpa decided that today was going to be the day where he manned up and talked to her. When she reached the front of the line my grandpa said, "How've you managed to get through life looking so ugly?” My grandma immediately responded, I’m not sure, but you’ve been doing it a lot longer than me.
My grandpa later admits that it wasn’t his best pickup line. Thankfully everything worked out and they've been happily married for over sixty years.
37. Double Chin
Our art teacher was telling us about this boy in her 6th grade class whoo everyone called Turtle because he had a receding chin. One day, he was talking quite loudly in class when a girl on the larger side said, “Shut up, Turtle.
Why don’t you go and grow a chin, no one can find yours.” Turtle pounced, “How about you just give me one of yours?” The girl started bawling and it took 30 minutes to get her to stop.
38. Workplace Seduction
At every workplace I’ve been in I’ve always sat next to the door. Our office is in the same building as a company that gives out visas, and they used to be our office neighbor until they recently moved one floor above us.
I was just sharpening pencils at my desk when I heard some noise coming from near the door. There was this extremely attractive woman standing right there.
She said, "I'm looking for someone.” She seemed to be Eastern-European and the way she sounded had me swooning. I didn’t even think when I replied, “You’ve found someone.”
I’ve never been able to forget that day as everyone in the office makes fun of me. What can I say, sometimes love makes you do crazy things.
39. Hold Your Lunch
Marcus, who acted like a creep towards attractive women, said to my friend, “Hey cutie, why don’t you sit on my lap and we can talk about the next thing that comes up.” My friend responded, “Marcus, if I sit on your lap, the next thing that comes up will be the burrito I ate for lunch.”
40. Man Up
My chemistry teacher would often make jokes that he directed at the students. One of my classmates always took the jokes and never said anything back.
Finally, my teacher called him out and said that he needed to stand up for himself. He ended his little lecture with, “You need to be a man. You need to be more like me.”
The student was finally ready to take his revenge. “Which one? Do you want me to be a man or do you want me to be more like you?” The teacher applauded him and said, “That’s what I’m talking about. I’m glad you finally stood up for yourself.” I never saw someone take a burn so well.
41. Drop The Mic
My art history professor said to one of her students, “You’ve pretty close to being a fool.” The student replied, “You’re right, miss, I’m only 4 rows of chairs and 2 desks away.” He then stood up and left the lecture hall. He must’ve dropped the class because we never saw him again. Talk about ending on a high note.
42. Here Comes The Bride
A couple of years ago the topic of gender roles at weddings was brought about. A woman asked, “If the groom gets to give a speech, then what about the bride?” Someone replied, “Just sit there and look pretty,” in an attempt to be funny.
She responded, “But what if the bride isn’t pretty?” Someone answered back, “Well then you’re just going to have to give a speech.”
43. Walk In The Park
I’ve been working a mundane desk job since I’ve graduated college in order to save up money to pay for grad school. My boss has an amazing dog that I’ll sometimes walk during the lunch break, because she gets tired of being cooped up all day.
I had a couple of acquaintances from college visit me who let’s just say I’m not the biggest fans of.
One girl asked, “Hey how’s your job as a dog poop picker going?” She must’ve seen me post a story on one of my socials. I was a little taken aback by her comment.
Mind you, I was never really close to this girl during college. She didn’t have a job, because she was working on her “acting career”.
I replied with, “Great. Speaking of dog poop, how’s your acting career going?” That one still makes my chuckle. Her acting is terrible.
44. Unexpected Compliment
I’m a guy and I was walking down the sidewalk with a few of my friends who all happen to be women. A car with three guys and its windows rolled down drove by us.
They started to catcall my friends. Calling them sexy and beautiful, while also shouting and whistling. I yelled back to them, “Awww, thank you! I never get compliments.” My friends all started laughing. The guys drove away with puzzled expressions on their faces.
45. Man Of Few Words
Many people told me that my comeback was legendary. Whether it was because it was actually legendary or because I was the quiet kid is something I’ll never know.
Since I was quiet, many kids would try to insult me to get under my skin or try to blame me for things that I never did. I never got in trouble though because the teacher never believed the “quiet kid” did it.
I walked into Spanish one day and the teacher must’ve been in the bathroom. My classmate, Jessica, was up at the board writing out some long winded joke about our teacher.
We took our seats and the teacher entered the classroom and noticed what was written. He asked who wrote it. Jessica and her friends all pointed to me as the culprit.
For some reason, I got up and went to the board and fixed all the grammar and spelling errors in her joke. I still don’t know what possessed me to do this.
Then I turned to Jessica and said, “It wasn’t me; I actually have standards.” The classroom went berserk, including Jessica’s friends. Even the teacher was crying from laughter.
It was obviously an awesome diss, but I think the fact I never really spoke made it that much sweeter.
46. Good Terms
I was riding the train when I asked this woman who looked to be in her 40s if I could borrow her pencil. I said, “May I please borrow your pencil, ma’am?” She looked right in my eyes and said, “Please don’t call me ma’am.
Didn’t anyone ever teach you how unacceptable that is to say to a woman?” I replied, “My apologies…sir.” This just made her even more upset. It’s safe to say that I had to look elsewhere for my pen.
47. Age = Wisdom
I was at a nightclub when I saw a lady say to a stranger, “Inhaling that stuff is bad for you. It’lll kill you quick.” The stranger replied, “My grandpa lived until the age of 105!” The lady responded, “Doing that?” The stranger said, “No, by minding her goddamn business.”
48. Entitled Customer
I worked at a high-end chocolate shop when I was in college. We sold a variety of items such as: brownies, truffles, cookies, and drinks. We also had vegan, dairy free, and nut-free options available as well.
A man walked in and demanded to speak to our boss because we didn’t have a “dairy-free, vegan, sugar-free, and nut-free” option all rolled into one item. My guess is that if you have that many restrictions that chocolate shops just aren’t for you.
The owner just chuckled and said, “We have one option that fits your requirements. It’s called water.” The man became so furious that he stomped out of the shop.
49. Retail Drama
A retail worker who worked at the customer information desk at Walmart was dealing with an extremely rude customer and told her, “I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are.” The customer exploded and demanded to see a manager ASAP.
The manager came out and the customer told him that, “Your employee was so rude, she should never work with customers again and should be fired immediately.”
The manager asked the customer what exactly was said to her. The customer repeated the line for the manager. The manager was befuddled. He asked why that would be offensive. In fact, he thought that it would be a nice thing to say to someone.
Talk about a catch 22. Either the customer had to admit she was being rude or she had to accept that what the employee said was nice. She just decided to walk away instead. Based on what we know, I’m sure she was fuming.
50. Not Pretty
When I was about fifteen, I asked my mom why she would wear makeup all the time. I said, “You’re only in your 40s mom, you look so young.” She said, “I wear makeup to avoid looking like you,”
I was destroyed. Maybe this is why I have self-esteem issues and am insecure about my looks.
In student government class my senior year, there was a girl who sat next to me who thought she was all that. She said she would only date guys who were good looking, athletic and smart.
She then said, “I’m just a girl who is hard to obtain.” I replied with, “Yeah right. More like a girl who is hard to want.”
Everyone who sat within a few seats of me started to cackle. It caused so much commotion that the teacher even came over to ask what was going on. Most people were happy that I put this girl in her place.
51. Taste Of Your Own Medicine
The head cheerleader asked me out to prom in front of the entire class in an attempt to embarrass me. Thankfully, I’d been through my fair share of pranks and I was able to sniff this one out in the moment. I decided to flip the script.
Without even thinking I said, “No thanks Karen, I have standards.” The entire class including the teacher started hooting and hollering.
52. Entitled Customer
I went out to eat at an Italian restaurant, and I noticed that there was this lady in her 20s a couple tables over who was acting horribly towards the restaurant staff. The people at her table were quite embarrassed by her.
Suddenly, this older lady spoke up and said, “Oh sweetie, “you’re not pretty enough to be throwing a tantrum like that.” I think the whole restaurant wanted to secretly give this woman a standing ovation.
53. Insult Backfire
My mom was in a heated argument with my brother and called him a “son of a [bleep].” He responded, “You’ve got that right.” My mom quickly got the comeback and started to crack up.
